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Relationships

None of us exist in a vacuum. As humans, we are always involved – or at least have the option to be involved – in some sort of a relationship, whether it is as children, growing up with our parents, our siblings, our aunts, uncles and cousins. Our grandparents. And now, as many of us have aged into becoming parents of adult children, we have the opportunity to enjoy becoming grandparents. (Literally or through informally “adopting” kids who we recognize could benefit from access to a grandparent figure.)

Of course, not all of us grew up in an “Ozzie and Harriet”-style family. Some of us were orphaned, some became children of divorce, and still others had the opportunity to form strong bonds with special teachers, adult friends or neighbors. Again, for Boomers, there was never just one official “one-and-only” way to enjoy relationships.

Regardless, we now understand that socialization is important for people of all ages. A 2017 study performed at Michigan State and published in Frontiers of Psychology found that valuing friendships was a strong predictor of health and happiness among older adults. Now that we know this, we all need to take advantage of opportunities to socialize whenever possible. We hope to explore a variety of relationships here.

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Giving Your Frail Aging Parent “Space”—How Dangerous Is That?

Let’s face it, some elders are not just stubborn, they’re flat out dangerous to themselves. They insist on independence. They refuse when you offer to step in and help. They think they are fine when everyone around them can see they’re not. And the aging parents who live alone, have poor balan…Let’s face it, some elders are not just stubborn, they’re flat out dangerous to themselves. They insist on independence. They refuse when you offer to step in and help. They think they are fine wh…Let’s face it, some elders are not just stubborn, they’re flat out dangerous to themselves. They insist on independence. They refuse when you offer to step in and help. They think they are fine when everyone around them can see they’re not. And the aging parents who live alone, have poor balance, falls, and still refuse to move or let someone live with them are the worst. Is there anything concerned family can do to prevent disaster? Sometimes yes, but sometimes there is no option but to wait for the inevitable crisis. When you can, you can let the aging parent know that if something goe…

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An Innovative Way You Can Help Visually Impaired Aging Parents

As many as 11 million people over 60 have some form of macular degneration. It’s an irreversible condition and it can cause gradual and total loss of sight. This could include your own aging parents. Many elders learn to get by, adapt and manage with some kind of help. What if they could just ca…As many as 11 million people over 60 have some form of macular degneration. It’s an irreversible condition and it can cause gradual and total loss of sight. This could include your own aging paren…As many as 11 million people over 60 have some form of macular degneration. It’s an irreversible condition and it can cause gradual and total loss of sight. This could include your own aging parents. Many elders learn to get by, adapt and manage with some kind of help. What if they could just call a number and ask someone to find something for them? Now they can. Yes, there’s an app for that. I learned about Be My Eyes from my own daughter, Jessi, who is a volunteer for answering calls generated on this app. I was very impressed with the use of technology to quickly solve everyday prob…

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Frustration For Families: Law Enforcement Isn’t Pursuing Financial Elder Abusers

Families are frustrated. When someone thinks a person is taking financial advantage of an aging parent, the public message is an urge to report to Adult Protective Services, or equivalent. APS, sometimes called by other names, is a local government entity tasked with investigating complaints about e…Families are frustrated. When someone thinks a person is taking financial advantage of an aging parent, the public message is an urge to report to Adult Protective Services, or equivalent. APS, someti…Families are frustrated. When someone thinks a person is taking financial advantage of an aging parent, the public message is an urge to report to Adult Protective Services, or equivalent. APS, sometimes called by other names, is a local government entity tasked with investigating complaints about elder abuse and neglect. After I hear families describe their distress over the abuse itself, they complain of another frustration. No prosecution of the perpetrator happens. The crime of financial abuse of elders is rampant and growing. People are living longer and they become more vulnerable with a…

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EP – 107 Teaching Gratitude

This week's conversation is about how we, as Grandfathers, can help our grandchildren develop a spirit of gratitude. This is a short conversation (since it is Thanksgiving weekend), but if there is a good nugget here. I think you can use it with your family and grandchildren. I borrowed much of th…This week's conversation is about how we, as Grandfathers, can help our grandchildren develop a spirit of gratitude. This is a short conversation (since it is Thanksgiving weekend), but if there is a …This week's conversation is about how we, as Grandfathers, can help our grandchildren develop a spirit of gratitude. This is a short conversation (since it is Thanksgiving weekend), but if there is a good nugget here. I think you can use it with your family and grandchildren. I borrowed much of this information from a fantastic talk my wife, Karen, gave at our church. I figured that she had some good stuff, so why change it? Teaching grandchildren to have a spirit of gratitude creates a firebreak in the lives of those who adopt that spirit. A firebreak is a physical barrier created to prev…

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How Fake Social Security Calls Trick Your Aging Parents

Scams targeting our aging loved ones never seem to stop. Now that thieves can spoof the recipient of a call by showing a “real” number on caller ID, it’s easier than ever for them to intimidate your aging parent. The way this evil game works is this: the caller has your aging parent’s teleph…Scams targeting our aging loved ones never seem to stop. Now that thieves can spoof the recipient of a call by showing a “real” number on caller ID, it’s easier than ever for them to intimidate …Scams targeting our aging loved ones never seem to stop. Now that thieves can spoof the recipient of a call by showing a “real” number on caller ID, it’s easier than ever for them to intimidate your aging parent. The way this evil game works is this: the caller has your aging parent’s telephone number and knows your parent to be at least of Social Security age. They buy this data. The caller immediately tells your loved one in an authoritative voice that her Social Security number has been blocked. Of course, this draws the expected reaction from most people. What should I do? They are…

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What Decisions Can An Aging Parent Make After A Dementia Diagnosis?

When an aging parent is diagnosed with dementia of any kind, it can be devastating and confusing to the family. For some, there is denial: “It’s not that bad, I don’t see anything wrong with her, and let’s just let things stay the same for now.” For others, there is overreacting and trying…When an aging parent is diagnosed with dementia of any kind, it can be devastating and confusing to the family. For some, there is denial: “It’s not that bad, I don’t see anything wrong with her…When an aging parent is diagnosed with dementia of any kind, it can be devastating and confusing to the family. For some, there is denial: “It’s not that bad, I don’t see anything wrong with her, and let’s just let things stay the same for now.” For others, there is overreacting and trying to push the aging parent into a care facility before that may be needed, just because of assumptions about dementia. Family fights over these things, such as we address at AgingParents.com, are not unusual. As the disease affects each person in an individual way, it is impossible to generalize much…

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Aging Parents And The Gift Of Safety

Holidays are a notorious time for financial fraud. Scammers capitalize on the generosity of their targets, particularly seniors. What can families do to give their older loved ones, especially aging parents a greater measure of financial safety? If you are getting together with aging parents during …Holidays are a notorious time for financial fraud. Scammers capitalize on the generosity of their targets, particularly seniors. What can families do to give their older loved ones, especially aging p…Holidays are a notorious time for financial fraud. Scammers capitalize on the generosity of their targets, particularly seniors. What can families do to give their older loved ones, especially aging parents a greater measure of financial safety? If you are getting together with aging parents during the holiday season, consider these tips. The World Health Organization estimates that one in six older adults worldwide is a victim of elder abuse. As an example close to home, I saw scammers repeatedly go after my mother in law, in her 90s. She was with it enough to fend them off until she was abou…

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