I don’t think anyone would say they want more stress in their life. But most of us create a lot of unnecessary stress for ourselves and other people.

I have a friend (who shall remain nameless – maybe you have one too) and she’s a real drama queen. She looks for it, she creates it. Even the littlest things, turn into a crisis or story like you’d see in a Seinfeld episode and it is EXHAUSTING to be her and to be around her.

Okay. You might have heard it said that if you can spot it, you’ve got it. And guess what? I’ve got some of it too! I’m highly skilled at adding complexity to things that create more stress for me and others (but I’m getting better!).  

So why do we make mountains of molehills? What are we getting out of it except feeling bad? 

The short answer is we often react to fear in a self-defeating way. Fear of failure, fear of regret, and fear of rejection – it doesn’t matter – that fear drives us to behave in ways that only ramp up our stress levels.Our brains think they’re doing us a favor by getting us to take actions they believe will keep us safe, but a lot of the time that comes at the cost of our peace of mind.

In this episode of Real Confidence, I get into all the ways we unconsciously create unnecessary stress, how our bodies know we’re stressed before our minds do, and what we can do to prevent ourselves from spiraling out of control and reset our confidence.

Because reducing stress isn’t just about feeling better in the moment – it’s about safeguarding our long-term health and well-being and the best time to start doing that is NOW. 

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Alyssa Dver Confidence Crusader & Neuro Nerd

Confidence Crusader, Neuro Nerd and Success Equalizer, Alyssa Dver leads the American Confidence Institute and the global association ERG Leadership Alliance that directly helps all workplaces be more diverse, equitable and inclusive. She received a Stevie Award for Thought Leadership, has two TEDx talks, hosts the popular podcasts Real Confidence and Distilled Confidence, and authored 8 expert-endorsed books including “Confidence is a Choice: Real Science. Superhero Impact.” and “ERG Intelligence.” She can be seen delivering 150+ talks each year, coaching at MIT and Wharton innovation centers and as spokesperson for both L’Oreal’s IT Cosmetics brand and The American Distilling Institute.