What can we help you find?

Let’s talk about something that we all grapple with but don’t always acknowledge—control.  Yeah, that word might hit you in different ways depending on how you see it. For some, control sounds …

Let’s talk about s…

Let’s talk about something that we all grapple with but don’t always acknowledge—control.  Yeah, that word might hit you in different ways depending on how you see it. For some, control sounds like a bad thing, a power trip, or even manipulation. But for others, it's a way to bring order, efficiency, and Clarity into their lives.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, especially after someone once called me a “control freak.” I was offended, and I bet you would be too. But the more I dug into it, the more I realized control isn’t all bad. In fact, it’s something we al…

Let me tell you—I just had one of the most eye-opening, liberating conversations with the incredible Mervyn Reid-Nelson, founder of You at Yours, Boudoir & BODY CONFIDENCE Photography studio in …

Let me tell you—I …

Let me tell you—I just had one of the most eye-opening, liberating conversations with the incredible Mervyn Reid-Nelson, founder of You at Yours, Boudoir & BODY CONFIDENCE Photography studio in London. Our conversation was a wild ride through the world of photography, body image, and how stepping in front of the camera can be a powerful journey toward self-love and confidence. Merv's approach is unlike anything you've ever heard before. It's not just about snapping pretty pictures; it's about creating an experience that helps you tap into the most authentic version of yourself. We took a…

We’ve all been there—caught off guard by the presence of someone we perceive as powerful or important, and suddenly feeling small or unsure. Whether it’s a senior leader at work, a celebrity, or…

We’ve all been the…

We’ve all been there—caught off guard by the presence of someone we perceive as powerful or important, and suddenly feeling small or unsure. Whether it’s a senior leader at work, a celebrity, or even a family member, that sense of intimidation is real. But here’s the kicker: no matter how polished or accomplished they appear, they’re human too. They wake up, get dressed, and face insecurities just like the rest of us. In fact, many of them feel just as nervous in unfamiliar situations as we do. Understanding this can shift your perspective and help you approach these encounters with …

My guest on this episode is Sherianna Boyle, whose work on emotional detox is truly fascinating. It’s a topic I wasn’t super-familiar with before we talked, but her approach – from the spiritual…

My guest on this epi…

My guest on this episode is Sherianna Boyle, whose work on emotional detox is truly fascinating. It’s a topic I wasn’t super-familiar with before we talked, but her approach – from the spiritual, psychological, and even neurological perspectives – made it easy to understand. But first off, what exactly is emotional detox? According to Sherianna, it's all about clearing out the reactions we have to our emotions, kind of like a cleanse for our emotional responses. Instead of removing the emotions themselves, we're focusing on how we react to them. Patterns of reaction can keep us stuck i…

Imagine starting at rock bottom—homeless, with nothing but the clothes on your back—and rising to become one of the few female senior managers in the male-dominated car sales industry. That’s Je…

Imagine starting at …

Imagine starting at rock bottom—homeless, with nothing but the clothes on your back—and rising to become one of the few female senior managers in the male-dominated car sales industry. That’s Jess Sudeall’s journey, one fueled by sheer determination, a relentless work ethic, and the refusal to let anyone or anything stand in her way. In this episode of Real Confidence, she shares my story, from sleeping outside in the dead of winter to breaking barriers in an industry – car sales -  that still struggles to embrace diversity. She starts by talking about how she grew up in a family of…

In today’s look-at-me social media world, it’s incredibly easy to get distracted by what others have and what we think we’re missing out on. For example, I sometimes catch myself wishing for a n…

In today’s look-at…

In today’s look-at-me social media world, it’s incredibly easy to get distracted by what others have and what we think we’re missing out on. For example, I sometimes catch myself wishing for a nicer car or the newest gadget. But then I pause and think, “Wait a minute, I have a pretty great life with what I’ve got.” I remind myself of how lucky I am, especially compared to so many others in the world who have far less.  And there are some things we can be grateful for that we often don’t think about but connect to confidence in an important way. Like pride. Growing up, I was taug…

A Journey to Real Confidence In this episode, I'm sitting down with John Lawyer, and let me tell you, his story is one you won't want to miss. We're diving deep into his journey from serving in combat…

A Journey to Real Co…

A Journey to Real Confidence In this episode, I'm sitting down with John Lawyer, and let me tell you, his story is one you won't want to miss. We're diving deep into his journey from serving in combat zones to facing the challenges of coming home and finding his way again. It's a rollercoaster ride of courage, uncertainty, and ultimately, self-discovery. As John opened up about his experiences, I was captivated by the twists and turns of his life. From the adrenaline-fueled days in the army to the quiet moments of introspection back home, his story is as real as it gets. And let me tell you, i…

It's a tale as old as time—people waking up one day, 10, 20, or 30 years into their career, wondering "what if?" What if they had made different decisions? What if they had pursued that passion they…

It's a tale as old a…

It's a tale as old as time—people waking up one day, 10, 20, or 30 years into their career, wondering "what if?" What if they had made different decisions? What if they had pursued that passion they buried deep down? The "what ifs" can haunt you, especially if you find yourself in a job you're not crazy about. Maybe you ended up in your current career path because of a college class, family expectations, or just because you were good at it. But now, you're realizing it's not your jam. You're good at what you do, sure, but are you happy? Do you light up when you talk about your job? Or do you…

There are so many trite phrases that get tossed around when life is hard. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” “This too shall pass.” “When the going gets tough, the tough get going…

There are so many tr…

There are so many trite phrases that get tossed around when life is hard. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” “This too shall pass.” “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” “Life doesn’t give you more than you can handle”...and so on. While there’s a kernel of truth in all those well-intentioned phrases, they can ring hollow when we’ve just been kicked in the gut, are suffering disappointment, experiencing outright failure or the sting of rejection. Recently I came across someone whose take on adversity was so fresh, I just had to have her on the podca…

You may already know that I hate the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it”. You can’t just fake confidence and expect it to stick. You can be dressed to the nines and runway-ready, but if you’re…

You may already know…

You may already know that I hate the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it”. You can’t just fake confidence and expect it to stick. You can be dressed to the nines and runway-ready, but if you’re not feeling it, if you’re not actively choosing to be confident, people are going to see, smell and otherwise just know it.  And then you’re just a well-dressed fake. I’m not saying physical appearance doesn’t matter – because it does – but it’s no substitute for self-respect and being confident and comfortable in your clothes AND skin. Dressing the part can help, but it’s what�…

How to Confidently Interview for that Job If public speaking is the #1 thing that rattles people’s confidence, then interviewing for a job has got to be a close second.  It doesn’t matter if you�…

How to Confidently I…

How to Confidently Interview for that Job If public speaking is the #1 thing that rattles people’s confidence, then interviewing for a job has got to be a close second.  It doesn’t matter if you’re new to the workforce, returning to the workforce, or a seasoned professional just looking for a change, the prospect of “selling yourself” is totally nerve-wracking – especially when the stakes are high and the new job is a need, not a want. Conventional interview prep advice tends to focus on studying the organization you’re interviewing with, crafting answers to tricky questions you…

I don't think anyone would say they want more Stress in their life. But most of us create a lot of unnecessary stress for ourselves and other people. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless – may…

I don't think anyone…

I don't think anyone would say they want more stress in their life. But most of us create a lot of unnecessary stress for ourselves and other people. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless – maybe you have one too) and she’s a real drama queen. She looks for it, she creates it. Even the littlest things, turn into a crisis or story like you’d see in a Seinfeld episode and it is EXHAUSTING to be her and to be around her. Okay. You might have heard it said that if you can spot it, you’ve got it. And guess what? I’ve got some of it too! I’m highly skilled at adding complexity to th…

Friends, I am still reeling from my conversation with Rebecca Yang ,my guest for this episode of Real Confidence. Wow. I mean, talk about an absolute powerhouse of a human being (not to mention being …

Friends, I am still …

Friends, I am still reeling from my conversation with Rebecca Yang ,my guest for this episode of Real Confidence. Wow. I mean, talk about an absolute powerhouse of a human being (not to mention being a skilled diplomat). The stories she shared about her experiences in Istanbul and during the Afghanistan evacuation had me hanging on every word. I couldn't help but be in awe of Rebecca's journey. Here she was, a young diplomat thrown into some of the most intense situations imaginable, from surviving a coup attempt to orchestrating a massive evacuation from Afghanistan. And through it all, she n…

To hug or not to hug? That is the question for a lot of people. Recently I was thinking about the later days of the pandemic, going to a couple of conferences when we were still wearing masks and sitt…

To hug or not to hug…

To hug or not to hug? That is the question for a lot of people. Recently I was thinking about the later days of the pandemic, going to a couple of conferences when we were still wearing masks and sitting six feet apart. The conference organizers offered two versions of the badge lanyards to signal whether you were comfortable shaking hands or not. At the time I was like, oh, what a bummer that this is what we have to declare but in hindsight I think it was probably a big relief for people who, as a rule, don’t like that physical contact and wish they could walk around always with a little si…

Ever wonder which episode or season you’d make it to if you were a character in The Walking Dead? How you’d protect yourself, find shelter, get food? Whom you could trust? What about whether you c…

Ever wonder which ep…

Ever wonder which episode or season you’d make it to if you were a character in The Walking Dead? How you’d protect yourself, find shelter, get food? Whom you could trust? What about whether you could trust yourself to do the right thing if your life were under threat or your loyalties were tested? These questions aren’t just fun party conversation starters – they’re actually a sneaky way to get a handle on how self-reliant you are, and in turn, how confident you feel about taking care of yourself and your loved ones in an actual state of emergency. Topics like emergency preparedness…

Listen, life is A LOT and has been for the last four years. I’ll be the first one to tell you that what we lived through changed not how we lived, but how we experienced our lives. We’re not going…

Listen, life is A LO…

Listen, life is A LOT and has been for the last four years. I’ll be the first one to tell you that what we lived through changed not how we lived, but how we experienced our lives. We’re not going back to before. We’ve got to live where we are NOW.  And where we are now is emotionally exhausted. The question is why? Are we truly burned out or are we just bored? And how do we know the difference? One of the problems I see is that (once again), when the way we feel is validated by the media and everyone around us, we’re compelled to label it as a syndrome.  Yes, it helps to know we’r…

The human brain is a marvelous thing. All day long it’s tasked with protecting us from anything it perceives as a threat, and it takes that job seriously.  So seriously, in fact, that it actually c…

The human brain is a…

The human brain is a marvelous thing. All day long it’s tasked with protecting us from anything it perceives as a threat, and it takes that job seriously.  So seriously, in fact, that it actually can’t discern the difference between real, life-threatening situations and getting a vague, last-minute meeting request from our boss.  Whatever the danger, our brains sound the alarm bell, stress hormones begin to flood our system and our amygdalas – that primitive part of our brain – go into overdrive.  We fight, we flee, we freeze or we fawn, all in the name of creating safety and securi…

A lot of people ask me what the opposite of confidence is. On some level I think they already know the answer isn’t insecurity or a lack of self-esteem otherwise why ask the question.  And they’r…

A lot of people ask …

A lot of people ask me what the opposite of confidence is. On some level I think they already know the answer isn’t insecurity or a lack of self-esteem otherwise why ask the question.  And they’re right. The opposite of confidence is neither of those things.  It’s guilt.  Guilt is quite a tool. Most often we think of it as a tool other people use against us. My mother likes to say, “I didn’t know your phone was broken,” to guilt me into calling more often.  In those situations, when someone’s bullying us, guilt can feel bad, stir up feelings of shame or worthlessness. And I h…