I get a ton of pitches from coaches, therapists, and Experts but my guest for this episode stopped me cold: he works with anxious attachment, and he framed it in a way that made me think, this is about confidence too. So I invited him on the podcast.

Trevor didn’t come to this work from some abstract theory. His life exploded first: a high-profile role at Tesla disappeared in a massive layoff. At almost the same time, a skiing accident left him with a broken jaw and the relationship he thought would last forever collapsed. 

Professional confidence? Rock solid. Personal confidence? Shattered. Everything he thought he knew about himself and his Relationships got thrown in the trash.

From that wreckage, Trevor uncovered patterns most of us live with quietly—patterns that quietly sabotage confidence and decision-making. Anxious attachment is more than overthinking or fear of rejection. It’s the invisible force that keeps you clinging to situations that don’t serve you, doubting your worth, and letting fear run the show. 

And you probably already figured this one out: awareness alone isn’t enough. Confidence doesn’t return by just knowing you have these patterns. It only grows when you actively rewire your emotional responses.When fear stops dictating your choices, confidence stops being fragile; it becomes reliable and actionable.

This episode is messy, honest and deeply human, and it’s about more than relationships. It’s about how you show up, how you trust yourself and how you rebuild your confidence when life shoves you into the deep end.

Highlights from our conversation:

• Why anxious attachment quietly sabotages confidence, and how it shows up in everyday life.
• How patterns from early experiences can echo decades later—and why you don’t have to be stuck in them.
• The surprising link between fear, attachment, and the choices that define your life.
• How structured emotional work can transform Anxiety into grounded, actionable confidence.
• Why your next breakup, job setback, or personal meltdown could actually be a pivot toward real confidence.

After a skiing accident left Trevor Hanson with a broken jaw, a toxic relationship ended and a corporate career at Tesla unraveled he immersed himself in the science of attachment, trained with some of the world’s leading experts, and earned his master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Today, Trevor helps people break free from anxious attachment, cultivate secure relationships, and build the confidence they deserve. Learn more about Trevor at theartofhealingbytrevor.com.

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Alyssa Dver Confidence Crusader & Neuro Nerd

Confidence Crusader, Neuro Nerd and Success Equalizer, Alyssa Dver leads the American Confidence Institute and the global association ERG Leadership Alliance that directly helps all workplaces be more diverse, equitable and inclusive. She received a Stevie Award for Thought Leadership, has two TEDx talks, hosts the popular podcasts Real Confidence and Distilled Confidence, and authored 8 expert-endorsed books including “Confidence is a Choice: Real Science. Superhero Impact.” and “ERG Intelligence.” She can be seen delivering 150+ talks each year, coaching at MIT and Wharton innovation centers and as spokesperson for both L’Oreal’s IT Cosmetics brand and The American Distilling Institute.