As much as I don’t like it, the most popular topic about midlife is midlife crisis. I don’t like this topic because it’s mostly negative, and I’m all about thriving. If you’ve been listening to the Midlife Fulfilled podcast you know that my tag line for the podcast is “this is the show for men and women over 40 who say no to a midlife crisis and want to thrive across the five pillars of midlife: Health, fitness, career, Relationships and Legacy.”
I want you to thrive. And, if you have or are experiencing something that resembles a midlife crisis, my goal is to be a resource to enable you to thrive.
Not everyone experiences a midlife crisis. In my research, I found many articles and studies on the topic. The numbers vary from one study to the next. One study says 26%, another says between 15% and 20% and yet another says that about 25% of adults experience a midlife crisis. While it is encouraging that these percentages are relatively low, we also have to question if those surveyed were willing to admit they experienced a midlife crisis.
I recently came across a report from The Thriving Center of Psychology. Below I summarize key findings and share my thoughts and insights.
The Thriving Center of Psychology conducted a survey, which involved over 1,000 Millennials aged 28 to 43. As you know, I just completed my midlife survey of people age 40 and above. So, this approach to gaining insights from a cohort of people hits home for me.
Let’s begin with reviewing the definition of millennials. They are people born between 1981 and 1996, making their age range between 28 and 43 years old in 2024.
The report blog post opens with the question:
They define a life crisis as a period of significant Anxiety and uncertainty about one’s direction in life.
The BIG finding (that is mind-blowing) is that 64% of millennials have experienced a life crisis, with 39% experiencing one in 2024.
No matter what spin you choose to put on this, 64% is a high percentage. My take on this is that millennials are dealing with a lot of pressure. If you had asked me to speculate what percentage of millennials experienced a life crisis, I would have speculated in the 30 to 40% range on the high end. That it’s 64% tells me they are struggling with high expectations. And, in fact that is borne out in some of the other findings in this report.
In my midlife survey, I didn’t ask survey takers if they had a midlife crisis. Instead, I asked how fulfilled they are in each pillar: Healty, Fitness, Career, Relationship, and Legacy. I asked this question for each pillar. When my report publishes later this summar (2024), I will offer potential correlations to a midlife crisis from those responses. BTW, you can sign up to get the report when it’s published.
Back to the Millennials in Crisis report findings.
The report explains that 1 in 10 millennials reported experiencing a midlife crisis around age 34. It says that 81% believe they can’t afford a midlife crisis, and 58% don’t have time for one.
It goes on to say that the anticipated age for a midlife crisis among millennials is now around 44, earlier than the traditional age of 50.
My take on this is no surprise, in part because when I was in mid thirties, I was freaking out a little bit. I remember reflecting on how carefree my life was in my twenties. I was gainfully employed. I bought my first home at age 28. But, my responsibilities by my mid 30s were notably more than in my 20s. In my 20s, if I screwed up, I would only hurt myself. By my mid 30s, I had started a Family and the stakes were higher.
This is my personal experience. I know that’s not necessarily your experience. My point is that experiencing life Stress in your thirties, regardless of your circumstances should not be a surprise.
The only surprise to me is the expectation of having a midlife crisis at age 44 instead of at age 50. My read on this is because people’s perception of age 50 when they’re in their 30s seems very far away. And, given the stress they’re already experiencing in their 30s, they don’t think they can last to age 50 without experiencing a midlife crisis. The reality is that the opposite is true.
The older we get, the faster time seems to pass by. We blink and we are 50.
The report also says that nearly half of millennials (49%) feel trapped in their current life circumstances, primarily due to financial and personal limitations. It states that 70% of millennials are not where they expected to be at this stage in their life.
This is having an impact of delayed life milestones, with 62% of millennials citing financial reasons and 30% citing Mental Health reasons for these delays.
The most common life milestones the report says millennials have achieved are:
My take on the fact that 49% of millennials feel trapped in their current life circumstances is because in many cases they are not doing better than their parents. The finding that 70% are not where they expected to be at this stage in their life bares this out. Many are struggling with student debt, or strapped by inflationary circumstances that makes home ownership difficult or impossible especially for those living in areas where home ownership is financially out of reach.
For those in the midlife age range, feeling trapped can be a reality too. We know that people often feel trapped as a caregiver for their teenage kids and their Aging parents. Here are some stats on midlifers feeling trapped:
According to these studies, the percentage of people “sandwiched” between parents and their own kids is fairly low. However, it’s more common than the statistics suggest. Just look around your own circle of friends and family. Personally, I experienced this when my parents entered their end of life season, and I was their legal guardian. My kids were in college at the time and I remember vividly what a stressful time it was for me and my wife.
Common life milestones those of midlife age might include things like:
The report highlights that 87% of millennials feel that older generations don’t understand the challenges they face. It discusses the lack of empathy from older generations and the criticism millennials often face regarding their Lifestyle choices.
This is an interesting finding. My midlife survey asked several questions about the relationship between people in the midlife age range and people of younger generations. I won’t spill the beans on the findings to be published in my forthcoming report other than this. Generally speaking, us midlifers get along with younger generations. There is more detail on this which I will cover in my forthcoming report. The point is that we may or may not understand millennials as much as millennials would like us to, but we get along with them.
That said, the point in the millennial’s midlife crisis report is that we older generations don’t understand the challenges they face. I think that is because the challenges we faced were different. Our challenges date back to the analog age, i.e., before the internet.
Our challenges were more black and white. Some would argue they were simpler. For example, do you relocate to another city to accept the job or stay where you are? That was a black and white decision for us twenty years ago. Today, millennials face more complex challenges. They are competing in a global Economy, managing relationships that are more digital than analog (face to face). If they’re Dating, they compete for a mate online before they agree to meet. And, they are fed stories all day long on social media and the mainstream media about what their life should look like and when it doesn’t look like this, they feel stressed or inadequate or both. It’s no wonder that 87% of millennials feel that older generations don’t understand the challenges they face.
The report discusses the expected experiences millennials anticipate during a midlife crisis, including career changes, attending Therapy, and changing their appearance. It mentions the shift in stereotypical midlife crisis purchases, with some millennials leaning towards environmentally friendly choices like electric vehicles instead of sports cars.
The report frames this up as redefining a midlife crisis. I don’t see it that way at all. In my opinion, the only difference is the age. Millennials are thinking about these things sooner than a traditional midlifer.
The millennial life crisis report also covers.
It emphasizes that a midlife crisis can lead to positive personal Growth with the right support system. It encourages individuals to seek help from family, friends, and therapists during challenging times. I couldn’t agree more.
Since I launched the Midlife Fulfilled podcast in February 2022 I have believed that midlife begins in our thirties. I indeed position the Midlife Fulfilled podcast for people over 40.
However, the reason I position it this way is because it’s difficult to convince someone in their 30s that they are in midlife. In other words, it’s a tough sell to convince people in their 30s that they are in midlife. And, that is because the perception of midlife is 40s, 50s, and 60s. I get it. When I was in my 30s, I didn’t consider myself in midlife.
The reason I suggest that midlife begins in our 30s is because I equate our midlife seasons with “adulting.”
I shared earlier that I was a responsible person in my 20s. I purchased my first home at age 28. But, it wasn’t until my 30s that I felt more responsibility. I felt more adult in my 30s than I did in my 20s.
While this is my experience, I suggest that I’m not an isolated case. Maybe that will be a future research project I’ll tackle. Until then, I think we can look at this research report from The Thriving Center of Psychology: Millennials in Criss, as evidence that supports my thesis, that we begin our midlife season in our 30s.
And, the significance of this is that we all want to thrive. And, whether or not we know it consciously, we want to thrive across the five pillars: health, fitness, career, relationships and legacy.
The report mentions that millennials often can’t afford the traditional midlife crisis due to their financial constraints. Here are some potential costs and implications of a midlife crisis for this generation:
With many millennials already burdened by student loans, housing costs, and lower incomes compared to previous generations, the potential financial and personal costs of a full-blown midlife crisis can be devastating. The report suggests finding more affordable ways to navigate this phase, such as through self-reflection, counseling, and making gradual changes.
While a midlife crisis can be disruptive and costly at any age, the potential risks and implications may be more severe for millennials experiencing this phase earlier in life compared to those in their 40s or 50s. Here’s a comparison:
While a midlife crisis can be challenging at any age, the potential costs and long-term implications may be more severe for millennials due to their relatively early career stage, higher debt burdens, and limited financial resources compared to older generations.
A midlife crisis can take a significant toll on an individual’s physical and mental well-being, regardless of age. However, the specific impacts may vary between millennials experiencing this phase earlier and those in the more traditional age range of their 40s and 50s.
Millennials:
Older Individuals:
Millennials:
Older Individuals:
For both age groups, seeking professional help through counseling or therapy can be crucial in managing the mental and emotional impacts of a midlife crisis. Additionally, prioritizing self-care, building a support network, and finding healthy coping mechanisms can help mitigate the potential physical and mental health consequences.
While the timing and circumstances may differ, a midlife crisis can be a profoundly disruptive experience for individuals of any age. Whether experienced by millennials grappling with existential questions earlier in life or those in their traditional 40s and 50s, the emotional turmoil, impulsive decisions, and potential upheaval can have far-reaching consequences. From financial setbacks and career disruptions to strained relationships and compromised physical and mental health, the ripple effects of a midlife crisis can be severe and long-lasting. Navigating this phase with self-awareness, professional support, and healthy coping mechanisms is crucial to emerge from the crisis with renewed purpose and resilience, minimizing the potential fallout on various aspects of one’s life. Ultimately, a midlife crisis serves as a reminder that personal growth and self-discovery are lifelong journeys, requiring mindfulness and adaptability at every stage.
If you’re dealing with a midlife crisis, consider getting professional help.
Additionally, it is my hope that the Midlife Fulfilled podcast is a motivational and informative resource for you in coping with whatever midlife challenges you may be facing. Below you can sign up to get my upcoming research report on midlife fulfillment.
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The post The New Midlife Crisis: Why Millennials Face It Sooner appeared first on Midlife Fulfilled.
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