Contributors

By Jerry Zezima It may be true that time waits for no man, unless his watch has stopped, but it sure isn’t true for any man — or woman — who attends a yard sale. That’s what I found out wh…

By Jerry Zezima It…

By Jerry Zezima It may be true that time waits for no man, unless his watch has stopped, but it sure isn’t true for any man — or woman — who attends a yard sale. That’s what I found out when my daughter recently had a sale that was supposed to begin at 9 a.m. but which attracted a flock of time-ignorant early birds, the first of whom showed up at the ungodly hour of 6:52 in the morning. “Were they on Mountain Time?” I asked my daughter after my wife, Sue, and I, who participated in the sale, arrived at 8 o’clock, Eastern Time, to put out our stuff and have large doses of ca…

By Jerry Zezima I seldom write restaurant reviews for the sound journalistic reason that I seldom go to restaurants. That’s because I took a vow of poverty when I went into journalism and can’t …

By Jerry Zezima I …

By Jerry Zezima I seldom write restaurant reviews for the sound journalistic reason that I seldom go to restaurants. That’s because I took a vow of poverty when I went into journalism and can’t afford to eat out too often. And whenever I do, it’s usually in a place where the most difficult dining decision is whether to have french fries or onion rings. But I am making an exception now because I just discovered a fantastic new eatery called Cafe Rio. In the interest of full disclosure, it is run by two of my granddaughters, who are 10 and almost 7 years old. The younger one chose th…

By Jerry Zezima If it weren’t for my wife, I would have starved to death long ago. That’s because Sue not only is an excellent cook who can make even vegetables appetizing (except squash, which …

By Jerry Zezima If…

By Jerry Zezima If it weren’t for my wife, I would have starved to death long ago. That’s because Sue not only is an excellent cook who can make even vegetables appetizing (except squash, which should be squashed), but she does the food shopping. But recently Sue was under the weather, so for only the second time in 45 years of marriage, I had to do the weekly shopping myself. As we stood in the kitchen, Sue went over the list of items she wanted me to buy. It looked like the battle plans for the invasion of Normandy. Not only that, but she sent me to two supermarkets. At first S…

By Jerry Zezima The great humorist Erma Bombeck said that no one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I’m glad Erma was right because otherwise my wife, Sue, and I would now be in the Great…

By Jerry Zezima Th…

By Jerry Zezima The great humorist Erma Bombeck said that no one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I’m glad Erma was right because otherwise my wife, Sue, and I would now be in the Great Bed, Bath & Beyond. We spent the better part of a week in the sack while being sacked by COVID-19. Just when we thought it was safe to go out — after three years of being masked, tasked and vaxxed to the max — we somehow contracted the virus. And we think we got it from, of all people, Lady Liberty. Sue and I — with our two daughters, one of our sons-in-law and our five grandchildre…

By Jerry Zezima You don’t need a master’s degree in nuclear engineering to put furniture together. But I’m glad my son-in-law has one. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have a nice new love seat and a s…

By Jerry Zezima Yo…

By Jerry Zezima You don’t need a master’s degree in nuclear engineering to put furniture together. But I’m glad my son-in-law has one. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have a nice new love seat and a set of matching chairs on the patio. When it comes to home improvement, I am the epitome of DIY: Dimwitted Incompetent Yoyo. I have enough trouble putting together a coherent sentence let alone a love seat, or a chair, or a table, or a bookcase, or an entertainment center, or — God forbid — a gas grill. Over the years, I have assembled all of those things with varying degrees of success a…