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Comedy

“New Phone Is a Good Call”

By Jerry Zezima Three days after receiving a patent for the telephone in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell placed a call to his assistant, Thomas Watson. Here is a transcript of the conversation. Bell: “Watson, come here. I want you.” Watson: “What?” Bell: “Come here.” Watson: “Who is this?” Bell: “Bell.” Watson: (Inaudible) Bell (yelling): “Can […]

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“The Dish on Dishwashers”

By Jerry Zezima Take it from a man with dishpan hands, one of the great mysteries of the universe doesn’t involve flying saucers, although they are frequently spotted with coffee stains and break into tiny pieces if they fly off the kitchen counter. No, the question that has baffled husbands for decades is this: If […]

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“Gill We Meet Again”

By Jerry Zezima Something fishy is going on in my house. And it’s a matter of life and death. That’s because Camilla, the latest in our endless series of pet fish, tragically went belly-up, something these little creatures tend to do with dismaying frequency. Mayflies are like Methuselah compared to some of the fish we […]

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