By Jerry Zezima I don’t want to give lip service to elections, one of which is coming up in the fall, but I recently won a contest by a vote so overwhelming that it amounted to much more than a whisker. That’s why, thanks to the support of my grandchildren, who are not too young […]
By Jerry Zezima This pudgy piggy went to the shoe store. This pudgy piggy did, too. This pudgy piggy wanted flip-flops. This pudgy piggy bought two. This pudgy piggy cried OMG, all the way home! And that, boys and girls, is the story of my recent footwear adventure. It all began when my wife, Sue, […]
By Jerry Zezima When it comes to stress, I put others to the test. That’s why my cardiologist ordered a stress test for me. “Now that you’re 70, you should have one,” he said. “Have you ever had a stress test?” “I can’t remember,” I answered. “Why?” the doctor asked. “Because,” I said, “I’m 70.” […]
By Jerry Zezima I like to think I’m hot. I like to think I’m cool, too. In reality, I am neither — unless I have to stick a big, heavy air conditioner in the bedroom window and another in the office window, in which case, if I even survive, I am both. For the past […]
By Jerry Zezima Since my cardiologist put me on a Mediterranean diet, I have been looking forward to a daily meal of spaghetti and meatballs or a few slices of pepperoni pizza. Instead, I get the uneasy feeling I will be eating prodigious quantities of another Italian-sounding food: zucchini. To put it mildly, I am […]
By Jerry Zezima When it comes to croquet, a leisurely game that sounds like it involves chickens, I cannot mend my wicket ways. That’s because I am not very good at it. Proof came when my wife, Sue, who makes delicious chicken croquettes and recently bought a croquet set, soundly defeated me in a backyard […]
By Jerry Zezima As a geezer who can barely make it up the dozen steps in my house without getting winded, I never thought I would make it up and down 2,500 steps at a baseball stadium without keeling over, being carted off the field and finishing the season on the disabled list. But I […]
By Jerry Zezima I do windows. They’re a pain in the neck, especially if I stick my neck out the window to clean a pane, but spring has sprung and, even though I am no spring chicken, I have to spring into action to do the spring cleaning that gives me a window into my […]
By Jerry Zezima In case I am run out of the country, which is probably inevitable but would give me a great reason to have my own travel show, I just renewed my passport. “Now I can visit my mother,” I told Jenn, a very nice postal employee who helped me and my wife, Sue, […]
By Jerry Zezima I have a bone to pick with the slobs who have been dumping chicken bones and other garbage on our front lawn. But make no bones about it, I will catch these birdbrains because my wife, Sue, and I recently installed a home security system to capture their fowl deeds. This is […]
