We just had a cold spell on the Coast of BC. Now those in the rest of Canada don’t think that a temperature of -5 is cold, but in BC it is so cold that…

The rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe. 

Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets. 

You have to break the smoke off your chimney. 

You have to open the fridge to heat the house. 

Your false teeth chatter and they are still in the glass. 

Police tell a robber to freeze, and he really does. 

Our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about. 

People look forward to getting a fever 

Mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears 

I’m shivering like a mobster in a tax office. 

We had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post 

Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils and penguins 

Lady Liberty put her torch inside her dress! 

Prisoners are begging for the electric chair. 

Richard Simmons wearing shorts that come nearly to the half-thigh region. 

Roosters are rushing into KFC and begging to use the pressure cooker! 

A streaker froze in mid-streak! 

I chipped my tooth on my soup. 

Tim Hortons is serving coffee on a stick. 

The local flasher was seen describing himself to three different women this morning. 

We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm. 

I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket. 

I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee. 

Ice cubes are coming out of my faucet. 

Trees are chopping themselves into firewood. 

Cops are tasing themselves. 

I saw a greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside. 

The ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps. 

Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/

Royce Shook Blogger

I served as a teacher, a teacher on Call, a Department Head, a District Curriculum, Specialist, a Program Coordinator, and a Provincial Curriculum Coordinator over a forty year career. In addition, I was the Department Head for Curriculum and Instruction, as well as a professor both online and in person at the University of Phoenix (Canada) from 2000-2010.

I also worked with Special Needs students. I gave workshops on curriculum development and staff training before I fully retired