Posts Tagged With ‘ attitude off beat humour ’

In an unexpected turn of events, governments around the world have come together to address a looming global crisis — the shortage of workers. In a move that has left many in disbelief, retirement has been officially outlawed, effective immediately. World leaders gathered at an emergency summit, and declared that the drastic measure was necessary to combat the growing problem of an aging workforce and a decline in the number of available workers. The decision was met with mixed reactions, as millions of individuals who were planning to retire in the near future are now faced with the prospect... Continue Reading

 This is a post that I posted a few years ago, but it was posted on another blog. The author said that he found it on the Internet, I found it via email but the reality is that these people walk among us and they vote. I was at the McDonald’s Drive Thru and gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25¢. She said, “You gave me too much money.” I replied, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.” She sighed and got the manager. Heo asked me to repeat my request. I did so. He handed me back the 25¢, and said, “Sorry, but we don’t... Continue Reading

 Ten rules to remind us (seniors) (and everyone else) not to repost or forward without thinking about the consequences. Remember, the internet can be a wild place, but a little caution goes a long way when it comes to sharing and forwarding messages. Think before you click! “The Grandparent Golden Rule”: Before you share, ask yourself, “Would I shout this in a crowded library?” If the answer is no, keep it to yourself and your cat. “The Scroll Stopper”: If a post makes you cringe, stop scrolling and think twice. Your scroll button won’t file a complaint. “Meme Majesty”:... Continue Reading

Without Thinking. I have many friends who still forward emails or repost Facebook posts without thinking. These rules are for them. 1.       I understand that not forwarding an email will not bring bad luck, cause me to lose friends, or erase my mailing lists. 2.       I acknowledge that forwarding an email will not make me hear music or see bizarre images of taco dogs. 3.       I recognize that Bill Gates is not sending me money, and Victoria’s Secret is not aware of any gift certificates they’re supposed to give me. 4.       I am aware that Ford will not offer... Continue Reading

 “Anything that can go wrong, will…”  Here are some other Laws you may not have heard! Grandpa’s Law of Gardening: The plant you forget to water will outlive the one you baby-talk to daily. Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Smith’s Law of Aging: The older you get, the more your memory becomes a highlight reel of embarrassing moments. Jenkins’ Law of Dentistry: The day after your dental appointment, you’ll discover popcorn kernels stuck in your teeth. Anthony’s Law of... Continue Reading

 You know what really bothers me? The advice from self-help gurus: 75 is the new 60, and 65 is the new 50.  This phrase is ageist and doesn’t make sense to me. Seriously, what on earth are they on about? Is it energy, cognitive skills, health, the amount of free time you have, or is it all of these things? When I was younger in my 60s, I had more energy, I was healthier, and perhaps maybe, just maybe, I was a tad wiser – although I won’t swear by it. I did not have a lot of free time. The phrase is designed, I think, to allow people to feel good about their age. The phrase gives... Continue Reading

It took a while but here is a joke a day for January.  1.         Why did the bicycle go into retirement? It couldn’t handle the pressure of being too tired. 2.         Why did the calendar apply for a gym membership in January? Because it wanted to work out its issues! 3.         My New Year’s resolution is to lose weight. I plan to start by shedding some excess baggage—like my old magazines and junk in the garage! 4.         What do you call a resolution to watch less TV in January? A Netflix-ting goal! 5.         I asked my New Year’s resolution... Continue Reading

Thanks to Patricia for this. The other day a not-so-elderly (I say 75) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy; and he looked at her and said, “What the heck is a Jalopy?” He had never heard of the word jalopy! She knew she was old …But not that old. Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory when you read this and chuckle. About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included: Don’t touch that dial; Carbon copy; You sound like a broken record; and Hung out to dry. Back in... Continue Reading

Those who read these posts over time, may have noticed that I post my small attempts at humour every few weeks. I do that because humour can be a powerful tool in dealing with stress and its effects. I know that for many the prospect of retiring can be stressful and for many living in retirement can also be stressful, so I try to find humour to help deal with that stress. When we laugh, our bodies release endorphins, which are natural feel-good chemicals that promote relaxation and reduce pain. Laughing can also lower the levels of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, leading to a sense... Continue Reading

 Remember, these jokes are meant to be light-hearted and humorous. Enjoy! 1.           “OLD” IS WHEN…. Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!” 2.           OLD” IS WHEN…. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes -and you’re barefoot. 3.           “OLD” IS WHEN…. A sexy babe catches your fancy, and your pacemaker opens the garage door. 4.           “OLD” IS WHEN…. Going bra-less... Continue Reading