Viv la difference
I have never understood women and only went on dates once I was in my second year of university. I was lucky to meet a
lady who I have been with for over fifty years and let me tell you,
understanding the differences between men and women can help a lot.
Over time I discovered slowly that men and women
were different in many ways, especially in how we played and talked. I was raised
in a family with three brothers and we did not have any close female cousins or
women friends with which to interact, except for the girls we saw at school.
When my wife and I first started dating, we
used to join friends for game nights. Now, men and women play games
differently. The guys, including me, were all about winning and losing. We had
this ritual opposition, where we’d trash talk and compete fiercely. We were
conscious of our status—who was the best, who needed to improve. If one of us
wasn’t good at a game, it was tough. The rules were everything to us, and we
thrived on the conflict of the game.
My lady and her friends were all about ritual
connection. She and her friends played games to create cooperative
Relationships. They’d share secrets, laugh together, and were more focused on
the relationships than the rules of the game. Being an outcast was what they
feared, not losing. Their games were centred around talking and sharing, not
competing. They avoided open conflict and preferred harmony.
I slowly discovered that the way we used
language was different too. I and my friends used language to challenge each
other, to see who was up or down. We liked to take center stage and show our
dominance. My lady and her friends, on the other hand, used language to cement
relationships and promote harmony. They wanted to know if they were close or
distant, and they avoided making anyone feel isolated.
Why am I posting this? It is because my grandson
will be dating soon and it is important for him to understand and respect the
differences of how women and men think and do things. Nodding
for a man might mean ‘Yes, I agree,’ but for a woman, it might mean, ‘Yes, I
understand.’ And while men might be okay with open challenges, women generally
prefer harmony and would rather not have direct confrontations.
So, I want my grandson to listen more, be more understanding, and show involvement and caring. When he is dating, I want
him to think out loud with her, ask for her opinions, and make sure she feels
liked and respected.
As my grandson starts on his adventures with
dating, I hope that he understands and respects the differences between men and
women, If he does, then he can help build strong, lasting relationships.
Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/
