I don’t feel old
I agree with Anne Lamott. “I don’t feel old, because your inside self doesn’t age.”
Anne Lamott published a story in the Washington Post today titled, It’s not so ‘terribly strange to be 70.’
Turning 70 was an awakening and a reset for me. Interestingly, it was not as traumatic as turning 60 or 65. On those previous milestone birthdays, I was still in the throes of internal ageism. I feared losing the youthful energy and youthful outlook I had accepted as necessary.
Coming of age as a Baby Boomer instilled in us the fear of Aging. I have become more accepting of the wrinkles in my face, the idea that I am not as flexible as I once was. Not that I was ever as flexible as my sister, but that is another story.
In Lamott’s story, she cherishes some of the Wisdom and acceptance that comes with our 70th birthday. At least it has come with mine, and it sounds like it has also come with hers.
She alludes to our struggle for perfectionism, and the recognition that it does not bring the comfort we anticipated it would bring.
She recognizes that if we have lived this long, we have had trials and losses and we have gained resilience and insights. She calls Aging, grad school. The study in this school goes well beyond what we learned in traditional school. The study is called life lessons.
Life lessons …
- That the only thing we can be sure of is that things change.
- That being grateful for the people in our lives is important and letting them know we love them is even more important.
- That there is beauty in small children, animals, sunsets and sunrises. There is beauty all around us when we open our eyes to see it.
- That we have a lifetime of stories and experiences and we will hopefully have many more.
- That sometimes we forget names, or words, or why we entered a room, and that is ok.
- Loving ourselves and our process of aging is a wonder. We never looked at the process of life before. We are part of nature, part of the wonder of the flow of life and death and being amazed by the process is an interesting way to look at it. As Anne Lamott says, “I know the cycle is life, death, new life, and I think this is a bad system, but it is the one currently in place.”
So, what is old? There is so much discussion about this these days because so many Baby Boomers are reaching their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. These are numbers we never even imagined, so we are redefining what they mean to us now.
I don’t feel old, but maybe my inside self has aged in some ways. I still feel some of the feelings of being 18 and 24 and 35. But I feel them with a lens of love and acceptance and gratitude. Those ages brought me to where I am today.
I am not sure what old will feel like. Maybe I will still be writing and podcasting when I feel old. I will let you know then.
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