Why is Growing Older So Lonely?
Growing older is a natural part of life’s journey, yet for many, it comes with a sense of loneliness. When we were kids, teenagers, and young adults, we often determined our self-worth by the number of friends we had in our circle. As we begin to get older, we may prefer having fewer, but closer friends with more meaningful connections sharing the same hobbies, philosophies, and likes.
What do we expect from our Relationships as we grow into our baby boomer years and beyond? According to the Perspectives on Psychological Science, older adults’ relationship expectations include:
- Having opportunities to contribute meaningfully to others’ well-being.
- Having support where we feel cared for and able to rely on others.
- Feeling respect where we are valued and actively included.
- Feeling close, understood, and listened to.
- Sharing interests and enjoyable experiences and having fun together.
Loneliness isn’t just the absence of company; it’s a deep emotional state where one feels disconnected from what you once may have thought were meaningful connections. The prevalence of loneliness in our Aging population is caused by many factors such as Retirement, reduced social interactions, and the loss of family and friends.
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that nearly one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated. Social isolation was associated with a 50% increase in risk of dementia. Poor social relationships were associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of Stroke.
Factors Contributing to Loneliness
- Social Isolation
The reduction in social circles due to factors like retirement or physical limitations can lead to social isolation. Seniors may find themselves with fewer opportunities for interaction, contributing to feelings of loneliness. Add on the chance of children not living in the same city or state as their parents, the opportunities for social interaction may diminish, leading to a sense of solitude.
2. Loss of Loved Ones
The passing of friends, spouses, or family members can be a profound source of loneliness for the elderly. This loss is inevitable, and it does leave the feeling of bereft and alone. Grieving and adjusting to life without these cherished individuals can intensify feelings of isolation. Coping with Grief when navigating the challenges of aging truly does intensify the feelings of loneliness as we get older. But in the circle of life, as my grandfather once told me, people are dying today that never died before…
3. Physical Health Consequences
Loneliness doesn’t only affect Mental Health; it can also manifest in physical health issues. Seniors experiencing loneliness may be more susceptible to conditions like high blood pressure and cardiovascular diseases. Chronic illnesses, mobility issues, and sensory impairments can create barriers to connecting with others.
4. Cognitive Decline
Obviously, there is a connection between loneliness and cognitive decline in older adults. Maintaining social engagement is crucial for cognitive stimulation and mental sharpness. The lack of this mental stimulation from social interactions contributes to a decline in cognitive function that just deepens over time.
5. Depression and Anxiety
Loneliness is closely linked to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. The lack of social connections can contribute to a decline in overall emotional well-being. The lack of social support and meaningful connections can exacerbate feelings of sadness and hopelessness causing this depression. Older adults may worry about their health, financial stability and the future leading to heightened anxiety levels.
6. Changes in Social Roles with Retirement
The transition from a busy work life to retirement can be a significant adjustment. The sudden lack of a daily routine and workplace connections can contribute to a sense of emptiness. It may take a couple of years to establish a different routine where instead of the daily connections you had at work, you now have connections with retirees who have similar interests as you do. Retirement often brings a significant shift in social roles. Seniors may struggle with finding new ways to contribute to society, impacting their sense of purpose and connection.
Strategies to Combat Loneliness
- Building Social Connections
Encouraging seniors to actively build and maintain social connections is vital. Whether through community groups, clubs, or online platforms, fostering new relationships is a powerful antidote to loneliness.
Volunteering for a favorite nonprofit organization not only connects you instantly with people who have similar passions but gives you the chance to give back and make a difference. Whether you help organize a food drive or become a foster grandparent or read to kids, these interactions go a long way in combating being lonely.
Becoming a mentor can have a powerful effect on both you and the younger person you help. What better way to not only share, but relive the many life lessons, experiences and knowledge that has been accumulated over the years. Every decade we get wiser because we make more mistakes and hopefully learn from them. This is the knowledge we can pass on so hopefully the younger generations don’t make those same mistakes.
2. Engaging in Community Activities
Participating in local community activities provides opportunities for social interaction. Whether it’s joining a book club, attending fitness classes, or enrolling in classes to expand your mind, these activities can enrich the lives of seniors.
There are close to 10,000 senior centers scattered throughout the USA, serving 1 million people each day. Senior centers can provide transportation services, Employment assistance, volunteer opportunities, and fun group events like bridge and arts & crafts.
Joining local clubs that suit your interests not only helps banish boredom but helps you stay engaged with others with a routine you can look forward to. Whether it is a hobby club like woodworking or knitting or a more active club like hiking or Pickleball, creating these relationships can go beyond just the meeting times. Also, trying a new hobby, or one you did when you were a kid but never got back to like photography or pottery or watercolor painting, puts you in a space to not only encourage yourself but to help others.
3. Embracing Technology
The digital age offers numerous tools to bridge the gap between generations. Seniors can connect with loved ones through video calls, join online communities, and stay updated on current events, reducing feelings of isolation. Considering that the digital age is second nature to our grandkids, learning to use technology can put us on the same communications footing so if we can’t Zoom the grandkids, at least we can text them back and forth…
Enjoying virtual learning in the digital age from the comfort of your own home is easier than ever. Through Zoom meetings and classes, you can associate with people with like interests from all over the world and then connect with them outside of class.
4. Adopt a Pet
The World Health Organization (WHO) defines health as “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being – and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity”. Pets help seniors stay balanced by providing physical activity, social interaction, and emotional support.
Pets need Exercise, which means their owners do, also. Walking a dog or playing with a cat gets seniors up and moving, which is essential for maintaining strength, balance, and mobility. Pets add structure to the day by needing to be fed, walked, and played with. Playing with your animal helps boost serotonin and dopamine levels in the brain, which can have a calming effect. Pets help seniors meet new people by being great conversation starters to engage with other people in your neighborhood, at the park or even at the vet.
5. Seeking Professional Support
For those struggling with persistent loneliness, seeking the help of mental health professionals or support groups can provide valuable resources and coping mechanisms. If you are feeling isolated or lonely a lot of the time, share this information with your doctor about how you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally. Being honest with your doctor can really help these professionals identify and help solve these issues.
Conclusion
Aging brings about a series of inevitable losses that deeply challenge our sense of connection to the world. Loneliness can be oversimplified or reduced to how many friends we have or how often we see and interact with our loved ones. Our sense of alienation, emptiness, and a feeling of being abandoned also plays a part.
For many of us who were born in the first half of the 20th Century, we were indoctrinated into the concept of the stiff upper lip, where we were taught to maintain high levels of cognitive control and low levels of emotional expression. Our early lives experienced the depression, wartime, conscription into military service, the competition of peacetime employment, and the building of family life. This lack of emotional sharing carries into our old age.
The burden of loneliness for elders is intimately connected to the memories we are alone with. As we reach the end of our lives, we carry the heavy burdens that have accumulated along the way, such as feelings of regret, betrayal, and rejection. Also, the wounds from past relationships can haunt us our entire lives.
So, what does all of this mean and how can others help with the loneliness of growing older? We all need to think through how older people can be supported. We need to get our elders to start sharing their recollections, Wisdom, and reflections with younger generations to teach and mentor others. This will help older people retain a sense that they are truly valued in the world, and that they matter. We need to connect our elders with organizations to help them cope with the struggles they are going through, so their psychological and emotional issues can be addressed through coping together with others in their state of mind.
As a society, we must work collectively towards lessening the loneliness experienced by older individuals to help with their mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
It has always taken a village to raise a child. Now this village needs to turn its attention back to the elders who have given life to the generations that follow.
Originally Published on https://www.bizcatalyst360.com/author/marcjoseph/
