I received a letter from a woman whose father recently died. She explained all the surgeries, medical interventions, TPN, gastrostomy, multiple catheters, medicines, and hospitalizations that she, her father and their family dealt with over an 18 month period. She lamented that no one in the medical arena, except one woman who used to be […]
Dr. Bob Lehmberg, husband of Jennifer O’Brien, author of The Hospice Doctor’s Widow, used the term “Precious Time” with his palliative care and hospice patients and families who were dealing with end of life situations. I LOVE that phrasing “Precious Time”. What does it mean? Doctor Bob’s definition was “Precious Time is a type of […]
There are just two ways to die: fast and gradual. Gradual death has a process to it. If it were happenstance and just happened, it would be a fast death. Gradual death occurs either because of old age or disease. With disease the process begins months before actual death and in old age the process […]
I got a letter about a hospice agency ending services for a woman whose only diagnosis was dementia . As sad as I am to hear those stories (and I get many) I am not surprised. These families have had the comprehensive services of hospice for months, even a year or so and then they […]
Dear Barbara, A friend of mine had a child commit suicide. Do you have reference material that I might use to help my friend? Part of normal grief is all the questions we will never have answers to, the whys and what if’s? With death by suicide those questions are ten fold. With a child’s […]
Dear Barbara, My father fell, was hospitalized and is now home. He just isn’t eating—popsicles but nothing else. The doctors have not offered any suggestions. What should I do? The elderly, after a fall or illness, often are not much interested in eating. If there are no other health issues, they gradually return to normal […]
In our grief, holiday celebrations tend to reopen the grief-wound. We tend to play the “elephant in the room” game at the mention of our missing loved one. “If we don’t talk about how sad we are feeling we won’t spoil the day for others” is a common belief we carry into gatherings. The fallacy […]
IF I WERE ——a funeral home I would give end of life education materials to all who are making prearrangement funerals plans. It is an opportunity to provide education in an area that will be needed someday. IF I WERE ——an attorney I would give my clients educational material on writing advance directives, so they […]
When is the appropriate time to make the change from being “full code” to being “no code”? Full code means that when your heart stops, and you have died, medical professionals or paramedics will do everything medically possible to try and restart your heart. No code means that if your heart stops, medical professionals or […]
We tend to be unprepared for dying and death and we are unprepared for grief. Most of us don’t understand mourning, its natural flow, all the feelings and emotions that grieving presents. We are numb, we are screaming inside, we are confused, we are lost, we are alone, isolated, angry, afraid—all a normal parts of […]
