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Barbara Karnes

A fresh start & a new beginning…

A life review helps us as our life is ending. It can put all the happenings of our life in perspective. How about an end of the year review? Let’s take some time to remember and think through our struggles, our misadventures, and assess our strengths. From the knowledge and perspective found in our review […]

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Some are happily planning holiday delights…

For those of us who are grieving, the holidays can be challenging. Yearning memories, I-wish-I-had’s, and loneliness can all be more strongly felt. Other people seem cheerful, happily planning holiday delights, and we, the grievers or caregivers, are reminded of what we don’t have, of what we’ve lost or are losing. What to do? Write […]

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Do Families Want Hospice Present During The Death?

Recently I have been hearing discussion of why families and significant others do not want hospice or EOL Doulas with them during the final moments of life. Families often do not want anyone with them as their special person is actively dying. That is alone, private time. Anyone else present is an intrusion, an invasion […]

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Hoping For A Miracle

Barbara, Can you write about “miracles” and how the hope/prayer for a miracle can make people miss what is in front of them? An internet search defines a miracle as: “a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.” […]

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This is how we leave our body, how we leave this world…

We go through labor to enter this world AND we go through labor to leave it. Most of us don’t know this. When we see our special person struggling, we, the watchers, think something pathological is happening or we think the professionals are not doing enough to provide proper care. In reality, nothing bad is […]

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Acknowledging My Grief and Gratitude

Thanksgiving! A day of gratitude for a year of blessings. For many it is a challenge to find blessings in this chaotic world. For those living with a life-threatening illness, caring for someone faced with end of life issues, or experiencing their first year or even years of grief, it can be hard to find […]

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Hospice is No Longer the Outsider

When I first became aware of the hospice concept it was the 1970’s. It was an abstract idea that most people couldn’t pronounce, let alone did they know what it wanted to accomplish. Dr. Elizabeth Kuebler Ross and Dame Cicely Saunders both began saying the “D word” and ever so slowly, minds began to awaken […]

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Humanity in Caring for the Alzheimer’s Patient

Dear Barbara, I have a question for you: When one of our residents dies, how should we handle telling other residents? This is what happened this past week: Resident A and B were very close. They always held hands, liked to sit together and watch the bird cage. They were very good friends. They were […]

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What I Would Look For in an End of Life Doula Training Course

Dear Barbara, I’m interested in learning more about a career as an end of life doula. I understand there are courses, programs, and even certification. Do you know of one that you would recommend?  I have done webinars and podcasts with several end of life doula groups but am not comfortable in recommending a specific […]

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