I had someone ask me “Why do all people with dementia feel someone is out to get them?” My answer—not all people with dementia feel or react like someone is out to get them. There is no one size fits all when it comes to dementia. Just like all human beings are different, so is […]

I get emails weekly from upset caregivers and family members who had hospice services. Now that mom is dead they are angry with hospice. It is the hospice’s fault that mom died. “Hospice killed my mom.” My first response is that hospice did not educate enough, interact with caregivers enough, teach enough — and that […]

It used to be that end of life workers came to the career because something deep within said, “this is the work for you.” Today, with hospice being a big business rather than a heart-driven movement, employees often enter the field because it is a job. I’m not saying this is ALL hospice employees. I […]

To my fellow widows and widowers – well, actually to anyone. I think a big part of grieving is loneliness. Loneliness from our person having left us, but also aloneness in our day to day activities. Monday through Friday, I have people coming in and out of my life. I talk with others, interact with […]

We are born, we experience and then we die. There are a lot of emotions when we are born (joy, anticipation, pride, throw in some fear but not too much). All of these emotions are experienced by those around us. We, the newborn, are busy adjusting to this new way of living. There are a […]

Denial. Denial by the person with a life threatening illness, denial by the caregiver, and I’ll even add denial by some attending physicians. Denial is often the reaction to diseases that have reached the point of not being fixable. It can’t be me. It can’t be my special person. The doctors are wrong. If we […]

We who work in end of life situations take care of the patient and the caregiver/ family. As end of life approaches, our attention and interactions revolve around the family/ caregiver as much as the patient. Our work involves creating trust with all involved as quickly as possible. End of life work is time sensitive. We […]

There seems to be some confusion about advance directives and POLST forms (Physician Orders for Life Saving Treatment). Both are very important if you want to have input in your end of life decisions. So — here is what you need to know. Advance directives are legal documents that provide instructions for medical care. They only […]

“You often can’t see the forest for the trees” is one of the many things I learned being a caregiver. Now, months after my husband’s death, I have been thinking, “Barbara, you know the signs of approaching death. Signs of months, weeks, days, and hours. How did you not see them with your own husband?” […]

I was sent a Los Angeles Times article yesterday because my booklets were cited as an educational tool at a Death Cafe in the city. It reminded me of a time several years ago when a local Death Cafe leader asked to screen my short film New Rules For End of Life Care in a […]