My thanks to Walter and his sense of “old” humour for these ‘OLD’ IS WHEN… Your sweetie says ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love And you answer: ‘Pick one, I can’t do both!’ ‘OLD’ IS WHEN… Your friends compliment you On your new alligator shoes And you’re barefoot! ‘OLD’ IS WHEN… A sexy babe or […]
Mt thanks to the laughing Librarian for these one-liners An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars. • A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. • A bar was walked into […]
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t. 2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5. Don’t […]
I hate being patronized. By the way, patronized means they speak with a sense of superority. I love it when people talk down to me. It makes me feel so much better about myself. My boss always talks to me like I’m a child. I think he forgets that I’m an adult and not his […]
Thanks to Aubrey for this gem. Bert, at 85 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the missus. Walking proudly into the […]
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So, he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there […]
Here are three jokes with the same lead line, Happy Father’s Day to all the fastest dads out there. Three youngsters were in a spirited debate to determine who had the swiftest dad. The first kid boasted, “My dad can run a mile in just four minutes!” The second kid countered, “Well, my dad can […]
Well, I like to think I’m a responsible homeowner. I mean, I’ve got all these fancy appliances with alarms on them to keep my family safe and sound. But apparently, my trust in technology might have been a tad misplaced. The other morning, my family and I were all jolted awake by this high-pitched squealing. […]
I recently had an issue changing my password on one of my devices. The episode brought to mind this old but relevant post I saw a few years back. WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must […]
My friend Larry loves Sudoku and plays it, he says every day. I hate the game but each to his own. The reason Larry loves Sudoku is because he is worried about his mental health. Are you worried about your mental sharpness declining faster than your retirement savings, like my friend Larry? Fear not, because […]
