We live in an age where our thumbs are constantly scrolling, our eyes are glued to screens, and our conversations are reduced to emojis and one-word responses. We’ve got more ways to communicate than ever before, yet somehow, we’re connecting less. Let’s fix that.

Are We Really Connecting?

We all love the idea of meaningful Relationships—whether it’s with friends, family, partners, or colleagues. But here’s the kicker: just because we’re “connected” on social media doesn’t mean we’re actually connected in real life.

Think about the last time you had a deep, face-to-face conversation without a phone in sight. Hard to remember? That’s a problem.

We assume that a quick text, a like on a post, or a “thinking of you” GIF is enough to maintain our relationships. But let’s be real—these surface-level interactions don’t replace the power of presence, attention, and genuine engagement.

The Relationship Assumption Trap

Here are some classic assumptions we make about relationships:

• “They know I care—I don’t need to say it.”
• “We text all the time, so we’re close.”
• “If they needed something, they’d reach out.”
• “I don’t have time to call, but they understand.”

These are dangerous myths. The connection doesn’t happen automatically—it requires effort. Relationships wither when neglected, just like a plant that doesn’t get water (yes, even a cactus needs occasional care!).

How to Build and Maintain Genuine Connections

So, what’s the fix? Let’s get back to basics.

Be Present – Put the phone down, look people in the eye, and actually listen. Multitasking during a conversation isn’t impressive—it’s dismissive.

Make Time for Real Conversations – Send a voice note instead of a text. Call instead of commenting on a post. Better yet, meet up in person!

Check In Without an Agenda – Don’t just reach out when you need something. A simple “How are you, really?” can go a long way.

Show, Don’t Just Say – Actions speak louder than words. Be there for people when they need you, not just when it’s convenient.

Be Authentic – Drop the filters—figuratively and literally. Be yourself, and encourage others to do the same.

Look, I get it—we’re all busy. But if we don’t make time for the people who matter, we’re going to wake up one day surrounded by notifications instead of relationships. Let’s make the effort to connect in a way that’s real, meaningful, and lasting.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about how many contacts you have—it’s about who you can count on.

Now go out there, put down the phone, and give someone your full attention. You just might be surprised at what happens when you truly connect.

Let’s be better, together.

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Julienne Ryan Humorist, Speaker, Trainer, Facilitator, Coach

Julienne B. Ryan began her professional career at age five when she did TV commercials and learned important things like “the teamsters always eat first,” her social security number and how to endorse checks for bank deposit.

Ryan studied psychology in college because she wanted to understand humans. She conducted her “field work” in a variety of roles, hearing the phrases “merger synergies, reorganizations, downsizing and rightsizing for change” more times than she cares to mention.

Later she enrolled in an Ivy League graduate school where she paid oodles of money to validate her prior on-the-job learning experiences. However, she did learn to name drop up-to-date theories and trendy psychologists with alarming ease.

Ryan evolved into working in “Talent Management,” a fancy way of saying “try to find people and keep them moderately happy.” With inadequate budgets and staff allocations, she had to find creative ways to encourage her staff to work effectively. These ranged from begging and borrowing resources, improvising childcare, telling stories and even giving snacks as rewards. She tried to convince herself that working a bazillion hours and “multi-tasking” equaled achievement.

Her work took place in cubicles, conference rooms or, with luck, in offices with a door. Occasionally she would make the time to emerge from her allotted real estate to really talk to people. Ryan learned something transformative in the process:

Yes, she was effective. But not because she used fancy theories – or gave great snacks. Ryan’s success, her staff believed, was a result of her uncanny knack for weaving storytelling with humor to motivate and encourage them. Crucially, they encouraged Ryan to de-emphasize “that normal HR stuff” and focus on bringing her unique storytelling skills to a broader stage.

Thanks to them, Ryan continues to collect, connect and tell stories in her work helping people find their “true selves in the world of work.

She is the author of the humorous, all true "The Learned It In Queens Communications Playbook - Winning Against Distraction!".that now includes a workbook and is available at booksellers across the globe..

She is a guest contributor to The Procurement Foundry, LifeBlood, and the global storytelling community.

Certifications include
Accumatch (BI) Behavior Intelligence
Narativ Applied Storytelling Methodologies
Collective Brains – Mentorship Methodologies