The hidden side of having lots of followers when EQ is your thing

20,000 Followers

I reached that last week on LinkedIn

You’d think I’d be over the moon about that, and on one hand I am, but it’s not quite as simple as that.

Yes, my followership has been gathering pace since I started my own business 5 years [I gain about 20 followers a day nowadays] and I got to that number much quicker than expected, but so what!

Many people forget but it’s not about the number.

Yes I am a LinkedIn obsessive but, for me, each of those followers is a person and I care very much about each of them.

I’ve written before about how each of them are a part of my life and I take a personalised approach to each connection, sending them messages for each birthday, anniversary and meaningful milestone.

I see the effort it takes as worth it, because spreading joy is important, and I try and speak with as many of them as possible: each new connection gets a personalised voice note and an offer of a virtual coffee.

I love getting to know as much about them as possible, because amazing things can happen, and I always say that:

“Each connection can lead to an idea, a collaboration, a friendship or more; it all starts with a conversation”

I regularly share all the great things that being on LinkedIn and making new connections leads to, like this and this.

What’s more many of the people that I pick up as followers are looking for support and actively thank me for the impact some of the conversations we have had or the advice I have given them has made — the last 2 weeks has been a sobering reminder of that as I have come to pick up 2 mentees from LinkedIn who have been drifting through very tough times.

The negative side of things being so personal

We all know the downsides of social media:

• the obsessive nature it can breed,
• the constant pressure to compare yourself to others,
• the often way we forget that people are usually only showing the glamourised versions of their lives

While I predominantly use LinkedIn as a journal, I can’t help but to get sucked into the metrics side of thing: occasionally fixating on number of likes, impressions, followers, etc.

I have written before about why a like is not necessarily a true measure of anything meaningful.

This makes a lot of the negatives manageable, but because I basically share my life on LinkedIn, it has felt particularly raw when:

• I receive negative comments
• I get hate messages [this started happening since Oct 7th 2023 as I am not ashamed to admit I am Palestinian]
• People ignore my posts entirely

But by far and away the most difficult thing to process is when I lose followers or connections.

Losing followers hurts

This happens surprisingly frequently; I’d say each month I lose about 25 followers.

Usually I don’t notice this but occasionally I will be on LinkedIn and I will watch live as people hit unfollow and my number of followers begins dropping like a stock market crash.

This is perfectly normal; not everyone will like you or want to follow your content ad infinitum.

It could be that:

• your content is less relevant now
• they connected a long time ago and you haven’t really spoken since so they are do a clean up of their connections
• they disagree with something that you said/stand for [being prominently Palestinian has been a big factor on that front]
• they are tired of seeing your content constantly at the top of their feed
• or something else

I get that and am happy with that but this week I had something happen that was a lot more poignant.

The connection that disappeared

I made a new connection last week and as per my normal approach, I sent them a voice note and, as a result, we arranged a virtual coffee.

So far, so good. In the meantime they actively engaged with all my posts and sent me lovely messages.

We then had a virtual coffee for an hour.

I thought it went well but almost one day later they not only unconnected and unfollowed me, they then blocked me entirely from the platform.

This happened well over a week ago but it’s been weighing on my mind a lot.

Was it something I said?

Was it something I did?

Is the person ok?

I suspect I will never get the answer to those questions but I worry about it and I worry about them a lot; for me LinkedIn is personal and so it’s not just about numbers.

Every connection is someone great, so losing them is a blow to the gut 😲.

I get it:

Not everyone will like you and you can’t please all the people all the time but the connector in me (and maybe the little boy too) wants everyone to be happy so I take it personally.

As I’ve said before, these things never get easier but writing about it helps.

I wanted to share this article because I wanted to remind you that follower numbers don’t matter, it’s always about the people behind the numbers.

In this time of superficiality, if you are like me I assure you that others are out there feeling the same.

Rest assured my recent experiences won’t stop me from connecting and sharing more, so thanks for being part of the ride🙌

Faris

If you have reached this far and enjoyed this, then find out more about me here and follow me on LinkedIn to find out more about my life, the adventures I get up to and the tips I share all about being more effective

Faris is the CEO and Founder of Shiageto Consulting, an innovative consultancy that helps firms and individuals sharpen their effectiveness. Connect with him here

Success = IQ x EQ x FQ

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Originally Published on https://farisaranki.medium.com/

Faris Aranki Strategy & Emotional Intelligence

Having spent over 20 years delivering strategic change for the corporate and non-corporate worlds, Faris has experienced first-hand the fine differences between strategic success and failure.
His work has spanned numerous companies (from global behemoths to small start-ups), in numerous countries, across a range of sectors, supporting them all to unlock strategic success.

He came to realize that often what hinders institutions from achieving their goals goes beyond the quality of their strategy; it is their ability to engage effectively with others at all levels and remove barriers in their way. This has led to his passion for improving strategic effectiveness within all businesses and individuals and the foundation of Shiageto Consulting.

Over time, Faris has worked to distill his knowledge of how to solve complex problems in a structured manner combined with his skill on engaging effectively with others and his ability to quickly determine the barriers to a strategy's success. This knowledge has formed the foundation of Shiageto’s workshops, courses and methodologies. Faris believes that any firm or team can adopt these improvements; all it requires is a little of the right support -something Shiageto provides!

On top of leading our business, Faris is now an accomplished speaker and contributor for a variety of outlets.