Confidence Crusader, Neuro Nerd and Success Equalizer, Alyssa Dver leads the American Confidence Institute and the global association ERG Leadership Alliance that directly helps all workplaces be more diverse, equitable and inclusive. She received a Stevie Award for Thought Leadership, has two TEDx talks, hosts the popular podcasts Real Confidence and Distilled Confidence, and authored 8 expert-endorsed books including “Confidence is a Choice: Real Science. Superhero Impact.” and “ERG Intelligence.” She can be seen delivering 150+ talks each year, Coaching at MIT and Wharton Innovation centers and as spokesperson for both L’Oreal’s IT Cosmetics brand and The American Distilling Institute.
Recent Content
It wasn’t that long ago that my sons were in their teens and the world has changed so much even since then. Teens face more and different challenges than we could have imagined when we were their ag…
It wasn’t that lon…
It wasn’t that long ago that my sons were in their teens and the world has changed so much even since then. Teens face more and different challenges than we could have imagined when we were their age, and those challenges are doing a number on their confidence. What’s one of the biggest confidence crises they’re facing today? I had a fascinating conversation with Emily McCavanagh—fitness expert, teen confidence coach, and overall powerhouse—about that very thing. If you’re a parent, coach, or anyone who cares about the next generation, you’ll want to tune in, because we tackled t…
I’m going to call BS on something we probably all heard as kids: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. I know we were all taught this rhyme to shut bullies up, but wor…
I’m going to call …
I’m going to call BS on something we probably all heard as kids: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. I know we were all taught this rhyme to shut bullies up, but words do matter, and we don’t always appreciate how much. Especially when they’re coming out of our mouths and we mean well – we truly do – but how they land has the opposite effect. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. And it took me a really long time to realize how my good intentions could take someone’s confidence down instead of building it up, not just because of what I said, but how I …
You know those conversations that stick with you long after they’re over? That’s exactly how I felt after chatting with Rich Kirkpatrick on my podcast. We dove deep into the relationship between c…
You know those conve…
You know those conversations that stick with you long after they’re over? That’s exactly how I felt after chatting with Rich Kirkpatrick on my podcast. We dove deep into the relationship between confidence and creativity—not just the surface-level stuff, but how they can fuel each other. Because creativity is one of those things that makes a lot of us want to shrink into the background so people won’t find out we don’t have it or what we create is amateurish or awful. A musician, Rich talked about how during his early days in the music industry, confidence often felt like a façade…
We often think confidence comes from trusting our instincts, but what if those gut reactions are actually holding us back? Sometimes, we make snap judgments about people, situations, or even ourselv…
We often think confi…
We often think confidence comes from trusting our instincts, but what if those gut reactions are actually holding us back? Sometimes, we make snap judgments about people, situations, or even ourselves, without giving things a real chance. And those assumptions can stop us from experiencing real connection, Growth, or opportunities. Take my recent Portugal trip, for example. I met a couple I thought I had nothing in common with—different backgrounds, beliefs, everything. My initial reaction was to dismiss them. But guess what? They ended up becoming close friends. That experience taught m…
Ever catch yourself putting on a brave face or carefully picking which parts of your life to show out of fear of ridicule or rejection? This “hiding” behavior is something we all do to varying deg…
Ever catch yourself …
Ever catch yourself putting on a brave face or carefully picking which parts of your life to show out of fear of ridicule or rejection? This “hiding” behavior is something we all do to varying degrees depending on vulnerabilities and the fear that drives it, isn’t protecting us as much as we want to believe. In fact, “hiding” can really mess with our personal growth and stand in the way of forging real connections with others. So, when I had the chance to talk with Ruth Rathblott—TEDx speaker, former CEO, and a powerhouse advocate for inclusion—about this concept of “unhiding…
Let’s talk about something that we all grapple with but don’t always acknowledge—control. Yeah, that word might hit you in different ways depending on how you see it. For some, control sounds …
Let’s talk about s…
Let’s talk about something that we all grapple with but don’t always acknowledge—control. Yeah, that word might hit you in different ways depending on how you see it. For some, control sounds like a bad thing, a power trip, or even manipulation. But for others, it's a way to bring order, efficiency, and Clarity into their lives. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, especially after someone once called me a “control freak.” I was offended, and I bet you would be too. But the more I dug into it, the more I realized control isn’t all bad. In fact, it’s something we al…
Let me tell you—I just had one of the most eye-opening, liberating conversations with the incredible Mervyn Reid-Nelson, founder of You at Yours, Boudoir & BODY CONFIDENCE Photography studio in …
Let me tell you—I …
Let me tell you—I just had one of the most eye-opening, liberating conversations with the incredible Mervyn Reid-Nelson, founder of You at Yours, Boudoir & BODY CONFIDENCE Photography studio in London. Our conversation was a wild ride through the world of photography, body image, and how stepping in front of the camera can be a powerful journey toward self-love and confidence. Merv's approach is unlike anything you've ever heard before. It's not just about snapping pretty pictures; it's about creating an experience that helps you tap into the most authentic version of yourself. We took a…
We’ve all been there—caught off guard by the presence of someone we perceive as powerful or important, and suddenly feeling small or unsure. Whether it’s a senior leader at work, a celebrity, or…
We’ve all been the…
We’ve all been there—caught off guard by the presence of someone we perceive as powerful or important, and suddenly feeling small or unsure. Whether it’s a senior leader at work, a celebrity, or even a family member, that sense of intimidation is real. But here’s the kicker: no matter how polished or accomplished they appear, they’re human too. They wake up, get dressed, and face insecurities just like the rest of us. In fact, many of them feel just as nervous in unfamiliar situations as we do. Understanding this can shift your perspective and help you approach these encounters with …
My guest on this episode is Sherianna Boyle, whose work on emotional detox is truly fascinating. It’s a topic I wasn’t super-familiar with before we talked, but her approach – from the spiritual…
My guest on this epi…
My guest on this episode is Sherianna Boyle, whose work on emotional detox is truly fascinating. It’s a topic I wasn’t super-familiar with before we talked, but her approach – from the spiritual, psychological, and even neurological perspectives – made it easy to understand. But first off, what exactly is emotional detox? According to Sherianna, it's all about clearing out the reactions we have to our emotions, kind of like a cleanse for our emotional responses. Instead of removing the emotions themselves, we're focusing on how we react to them. Patterns of reaction can keep us stuck i…
Imagine starting at rock bottom—homeless, with nothing but the clothes on your back—and rising to become one of the few female senior managers in the male-dominated car sales industry. That’s Je…
Imagine starting at …
Imagine starting at rock bottom—homeless, with nothing but the clothes on your back—and rising to become one of the few female senior managers in the male-dominated car sales industry. That’s Jess Sudeall’s journey, one fueled by sheer determination, a relentless work ethic, and the refusal to let anyone or anything stand in her way. In this episode of Real Confidence, she shares my story, from sleeping outside in the dead of winter to breaking barriers in an industry – car sales - that still struggles to embrace diversity. She starts by talking about how she grew up in a family of…
In today’s look-at-me social media world, it’s incredibly easy to get distracted by what others have and what we think we’re missing out on. For example, I sometimes catch myself wishing for a n…
In today’s look-at…
In today’s look-at-me social media world, it’s incredibly easy to get distracted by what others have and what we think we’re missing out on. For example, I sometimes catch myself wishing for a nicer car or the newest gadget. But then I pause and think, “Wait a minute, I have a pretty great life with what I’ve got.” I remind myself of how lucky I am, especially compared to so many others in the world who have far less. And there are some things we can be grateful for that we often don’t think about but connect to confidence in an important way. Like pride. Growing up, I was taug…
A Journey to Real Confidence In this episode, I'm sitting down with John Lawyer, and let me tell you, his story is one you won't want to miss. We're diving deep into his journey from serving in combat…
A Journey to Real Co…
A Journey to Real Confidence In this episode, I'm sitting down with John Lawyer, and let me tell you, his story is one you won't want to miss. We're diving deep into his journey from serving in combat zones to facing the challenges of coming home and finding his way again. It's a rollercoaster ride of courage, uncertainty, and ultimately, self-discovery. As John opened up about his experiences, I was captivated by the twists and turns of his life. From the adrenaline-fueled days in the army to the quiet moments of introspection back home, his story is as real as it gets. And let me tell you, i…
It's a tale as old as time—people waking up one day, 10, 20, or 30 years into their career, wondering "what if?" What if they had made different decisions? What if they had pursued that passion they…
It's a tale as old a…
It's a tale as old as time—people waking up one day, 10, 20, or 30 years into their career, wondering "what if?" What if they had made different decisions? What if they had pursued that passion they buried deep down? The "what ifs" can haunt you, especially if you find yourself in a job you're not crazy about. Maybe you ended up in your current career path because of a college class, family expectations, or just because you were good at it. But now, you're realizing it's not your jam. You're good at what you do, sure, but are you happy? Do you light up when you talk about your job? Or do you…
There are so many trite phrases that get tossed around when life is hard. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” “This too shall pass.” “When the going gets tough, the tough get going…
There are so many tr…
There are so many trite phrases that get tossed around when life is hard. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” “This too shall pass.” “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” “Life doesn’t give you more than you can handle”...and so on. While there’s a kernel of truth in all those well-intentioned phrases, they can ring hollow when we’ve just been kicked in the gut, are suffering disappointment, experiencing outright failure or the sting of rejection. Recently I came across someone whose take on adversity was so fresh, I just had to have her on the podca…
You may already know that I hate the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it”. You can’t just fake confidence and expect it to stick. You can be dressed to the nines and runway-ready, but if you’re…
You may already know…
You may already know that I hate the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it”. You can’t just fake confidence and expect it to stick. You can be dressed to the nines and runway-ready, but if you’re not feeling it, if you’re not actively choosing to be confident, people are going to see, smell and otherwise just know it. And then you’re just a well-dressed fake. I’m not saying physical appearance doesn’t matter – because it does – but it’s no substitute for self-respect and being confident and comfortable in your clothes AND skin. Dressing the part can help, but it’s what…
How to Confidently Interview for that Job If public speaking is the #1 thing that rattles people’s confidence, then interviewing for a job has got to be a close second. It doesn’t matter if you…
How to Confidently I…
How to Confidently Interview for that Job If public speaking is the #1 thing that rattles people’s confidence, then interviewing for a job has got to be a close second. It doesn’t matter if you’re new to the workforce, returning to the workforce, or a seasoned professional just looking for a change, the prospect of “selling yourself” is totally nerve-wracking – especially when the stakes are high and the new job is a need, not a want. Conventional interview prep advice tends to focus on studying the organization you’re interviewing with, crafting answers to tricky questions you…
I don't think anyone would say they want more Stress in their life. But most of us create a lot of unnecessary stress for ourselves and other people. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless – may…
I don't think anyone…
I don't think anyone would say they want more stress in their life. But most of us create a lot of unnecessary stress for ourselves and other people. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless – maybe you have one too) and she’s a real drama queen. She looks for it, she creates it. Even the littlest things, turn into a crisis or story like you’d see in a Seinfeld episode and it is EXHAUSTING to be her and to be around her. Okay. You might have heard it said that if you can spot it, you’ve got it. And guess what? I’ve got some of it too! I’m highly skilled at adding complexity to th…
Friends, I am still reeling from my conversation with Rebecca Yang ,my guest for this episode of Real Confidence. Wow. I mean, talk about an absolute powerhouse of a human being (not to mention being …
Friends, I am still …
Friends, I am still reeling from my conversation with Rebecca Yang ,my guest for this episode of Real Confidence. Wow. I mean, talk about an absolute powerhouse of a human being (not to mention being a skilled diplomat). The stories she shared about her experiences in Istanbul and during the Afghanistan evacuation had me hanging on every word. I couldn't help but be in awe of Rebecca's journey. Here she was, a young diplomat thrown into some of the most intense situations imaginable, from surviving a coup attempt to orchestrating a massive evacuation from Afghanistan. And through it all, she n…