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Barbara Karnes

Do Families Want Hospice Present During The Death?

Recently I have been hearing discussion of why families and significant others do not want hospice or EOL Doulas with them during the final moments of life. Families often do not want anyone with them as their special person is actively dying. That is alone, private time. Anyone else present is an intrusion, an invasion […]

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Hoping For A Miracle

Barbara, Can you write about “miracles” and how the hope/prayer for a miracle can make people miss what is in front of them? An internet search defines a miracle as: “a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.” […]

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This is how we leave our body, how we leave this world…

We go through labor to enter this world AND we go through labor to leave it. Most of us don’t know this. When we see our special person struggling, we, the watchers, think something pathological is happening or we think the professionals are not doing enough to provide proper care. In reality, nothing bad is […]

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Acknowledging My Grief and Gratitude

Thanksgiving! A day of gratitude for a year of blessings. For many it is a challenge to find blessings in this chaotic world. For those living with a life-threatening illness, caring for someone faced with end of life issues, or experiencing their first year or even years of grief, it can be hard to find […]

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Hospice is No Longer the Outsider

When I first became aware of the hospice concept it was the 1970’s. It was an abstract idea that most people couldn’t pronounce, let alone did they know what it wanted to accomplish. Dr. Elizabeth Kuebler Ross and Dame Cicely Saunders both began saying the “D word” and ever so slowly, minds began to awaken […]

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Humanity in Caring for the Alzheimer’s Patient

Dear Barbara, I have a question for you: When one of our residents dies, how should we handle telling other residents? This is what happened this past week: Resident A and B were very close. They always held hands, liked to sit together and watch the bird cage. They were very good friends. They were […]

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What I Would Look For in an End of Life Doula Training Course

Dear Barbara, I’m interested in learning more about a career as an end of life doula. I understand there are courses, programs, and even certification. Do you know of one that you would recommend?  I have done webinars and podcasts with several end of life doula groups but am not comfortable in recommending a specific […]

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Slipping Into the Shoes of a Hospice Patient

Dear Barbara, How does a person feel as a hospice patient?  Everyone is waiting on them, they are unable to do things for themselves. They have to wear diapers and probably don’t want to be a problem for caregivers. Often, their well-meaning loved ones stay for long visits when they want to rest. I don’t […]

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When Families Resist Calling In Hospice

Dear Barbara, as a hospice admission representative, what do I say to families who say they are “not ready” for hospice — even when they clearly are? There is an old saying “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” I think that applies here. Our job is to explain […]

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