Alan Cay Culler

I call myself a writer now. Sometimes words flow like a river; sometimes they are dammed up. Not elegantly locked behind a Grand Coulee-Hoover architectural-engineering wonder, but stuck in mud and sticks and crumpled leaves emerging in tiny trickles from the buck-toothed beaver monstruction or clogged in neural ruts unable to break free. Yesterday morning I awoke to fog on the ridge where I live. From the field a short block from my home we can usually see New York City’s skyline, but there was not even Carl Sandburg’s “little cat feet. . . looking over the harbor and city on silent... Continue Reading

Hiring Consultants = Weakness? My social circles do not afford opportunity to attend many black-tie events, but I do own a tuxedo.  So, even though I thought it pretentious, I attended my thirtieth LBS reunion formal dress dinner in the Kent castle. “Boards are simply intolerable.” A tight circle formed around Mike, our only a public company CEO classmate. My class had mostly gone into finance, so Mike was surrounded by ten retired investment bankers who chimed in as Mike lamented the inefficacy of Boards of Directors. I joined the group. ““People arrive late or come unprepared.”... Continue Reading

“I don’t get no respect, y’know what I mean.” “You know the definition of a consultant?” I was at a wedding dinner and the question came from another friend of the father of the bride. I had retired recently, but this entrepreneur didn’t accept that as the answer to the “What do you do?” question. “What did you used to do?” was the follow-up and when I told him he continued with a consultant joke that I’d heard, oh, I don’t know, a million times? “A guy who knows a thousand ways to make love, but doesn’t know any women.” “Did I mention that I worked in the... Continue Reading

“Aaaask Alan” In the late ‘80s when my wife’s children were young and we first began dating, when an unusual question came up and I would know the answer, they’d say “Aaaaask Alan!” Everyone would laugh that I was the font of useless knowledge. That actually used to happen to me a lot. Billie would ask me about a crossword clue and I’d know the answer. watching Jeopardy I would know the tough question that stumped all the contestant. People, in a social setting, would ask a question or wonder out lout and I would know the answer. “Aaaask Alan.” People would jokingly ask... Continue Reading

“I know I should . . . , but I really want. . .” The angel on one shoulder, the devil on the other is a common visual device in cartoons: Tom the cat chooses whether to eat Jerry the mouse, Sylvester the cat struggles with a similar dilemma with Tweety Bird or as is pictured above Homer Simpson struggles with eating another jelly doughnut. (Spoiler alert: for Tom and Sylvester the devil may win short term but the prey escapes, but for Homer the doughnut always wins.) We all face temptations. Some are better than others at resisting their devils. Me? My angel won on alcohol, and speeding.... Continue Reading

Everybody wants to be a star My brother-in-law was an English teacher before he went to the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business for his MBA. He was hired by Cooper’s & Lybrand as a consultant. He soon went to Indonesia putting a management accounting system in the state-owned oil company. Somehow I developed a mental image of consultants, well-dressed wisemen whispering the answer in the CEO ‘s waiting ear. Youthful fantasy! It is a fantasy that persists for many consultants in the form of “The Trusted Advisor.” The Trusted Advisor is the title of a best-selling... Continue Reading

“I hope I die before I get old” Well, that didn’t happen. Not for me nor for Pete Townshend, who wrote that song for The Who’s debut album released in 1965, the year I graduated from high school. I remember the song, though I was blissfully unaware that it had been banned by the BBC. Apparently it was “insensitive to people who stutter,” “I hope you all f-fade away (talkin’ ‘bout my generation) Don’t try to dig what we all s-s-s-say (talkin’ ‘bout my generation)” I was sure that Pete was a Baby Boomer, speaking on behalf of us all. In fact, I thought, The Beatles,... Continue Reading

The X Things Every Leader Must . . . We’ve all read these articles, “Five Critical Traits Every Leader Must. . .”  “Every Leader Should Do These Three Things.” “When the Chips are Down Leaders  Keep Focused On.. .” The articles are filled with leadership buzzwords originating in the 1980s. Words like Vision, Empowerment, Empathy, Trust, Walking the Talk, Gratitude, Be the Change are always capitalized, an emphasis convention from PowerPoint presentations, invented around that time. Heck, I’ve written stuff like that: “Leaders are accountable for two things, direction –... Continue Reading

Consulting, a good start. Consulting is an early career choice that allows smart, resourceful people who have mastered sounding confident to find responsibility beyond that available in other industries. Consulting firms recruit from top undergraduate universities, business schools, and other graduate institutions, looking for “smart, nice, analysts with legs.” Firms want smart, analytical people because client problems are challenging. They want nice people because no one wants to work with jerks. And they want people “with legs,” who before they walk, figuring out problems above... Continue Reading

My First: Tank My first summer at Oyster Harbors Caddy Camp I was thirteen. I was slow to learn and reluctant to work, but with help of an older caddy, I finished strong and was voted “Most Improved Camper.” I learned to hustle, earned respect from the caddy-master and older caddies and earned $250 net after the $45/week room and board, more than the other “first years.” My second summer didn’t go as well. I expected to pick-up where I left off, but everyone was new and starting over wasn’t easy. Then I got hit in the head when a lady hit a five iron shot into our foursome. I... Continue Reading