Posts Tagged With ‘ Deborah Heiser ’

Today I’m announcing a brand new addition to my Substack publication: The Right Side of 40 subscriber chat. This is a conversation space in the Substack app that I set up exclusively for my subscribers — kind of like a group chat or live hangout. I’ll post short prompts, thoughts, and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion. The Right Side of 40 is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. To join our chat, you’ll need to download the Substack app (messages are sent via the... Continue Reading

When you think of how you’d like to spend your time, does it involve a schedule or routine? Like many, you may envision days of relaxation as time spent without structure, deadlines, or set times. No alarm clocks, meetings, appointments, or deadlines. On the contrary, the fantasy of the perfect relaxing day is one that we allow to unfold naturally. While structure seems to embody rigidity and may even be a source of stress, research shows a structured day is actually good for us (Fogg, 2019). Structure plays a role in influencing human behavior and helps us understand the steps required... Continue Reading

Most people think of aging as physical decline, frailty, infirmed states, and navigating a slow cognitive failure and death.  There is so much we have to look forward to as we age. Emotional growth continues throughout life. What is the first thing you think of when someone says “old age”? Most people think of aging as physical decline, frailty, infirmed states, and navigating a slow cognitive failure and death.  How do I know this?  As an aging specialist, this thinking causes people to run away from me at cocktail parties.  When I introduce myself as an aging specialist,... Continue Reading

Intrinsic motivation helps us to get engaged and stay engaged. We have control over our cause. Harnessing our intrinsic motivation is essential—and simple. What is it you enjoy most? Think of something that no one needs to urge you to do, remind you to do, or that you put off because you’d rather be doing something else for someone that might be reading, doing a crossword puzzle, gardening, cooking, or a sport. Avid readers love to read for pleasure, as a way to relax. But what happens if an avid reader is paid to read? Their love for reading starts to feel like work, and they... Continue Reading

How many times have you heard “Go find a mentor”? Most people think of mentoring as hierarchical. Mentees look for a mentor, a few rungs up the ladder, to open doors, guide, and provide opportunities for them. Traditional mentorship is simple and often very effective. But did you know there is another way to find a mentor? I’m talking about lateral mentors. Let me explain. No one needs to tell us the value of finding a mentor who can help us climb the career ladder to success. Someone in our field who has already gone down the path we are looking to go down ourselves. Although... Continue Reading

The Giving Season is right around the corner. We spend the fourth quarter of the year digging into pockets and donating to charities. It is a season dedicated to giving, tied to holidays and the time of the year when we can squeeze in our year end tax-deductible donations. But did you know this season is not just a time of year? It is also a time in our lives. The saying “Tis better to give than to receive” is true! Giving is an act we crave – and not just a few months of the year. Just think of how you feel when you give a gift to someone, and they open it, and joy spreads across... Continue Reading

In our last election, who would have thought we’d see two septuagenarians battling for the presidency? It wasn’t long ago that the Beatles’ hit “When I’m 64” revealed that 64 was considered old: “Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m 64?” That’s because a mere 40 years ago, we were old when we reached our 60’s! We’ve come a long way. The President of the United States is 79 years old and will end his first presidential term as an octogenarian. Betty White died at 99 on December 31, 2021, a beloved household name across generations. The Netflix Series... Continue Reading

Tom skipped college and went straight to work.  Just like so many of us, he lived in the moment, focusing on the grind of family, and work.  He didn’t have time for anything else.  But, in his 50s, he decided to take a leap and take a stab at being a radio show host.  He’d always fantasized about being behind the microphone asking the tough questions, but the idea this could be a reality was not even in his consciousness until he hit midlife. By 50, he had the stability and confidence needed to make the leap. The new adventure was both exciting... Continue Reading

Midlife gets a bad rap. But why? After all, we know that happiness is a U shape, with our satisfaction rising by the time we turn 50 (Blanchflower, 2020). We also know that when we reach older adulthood, we will recall our midlife years as better than other periods of our lives (Galambos, 2020). So, why is it that we are so reluctant to embrace 40-65? Perhaps it is because of the myths that make us believe we will lose all we’ve gained in our younger adult years. Let’s clear up our intermediate years and illuminate what midlife isn’t.   Midlife Isn’t: Thanks for reading... Continue Reading

Does the widely used term “meaningful connection” hold any meaning for you? The phrase is bandied about how “friend” is used for those we care about and arbitrarily connect with on social media and work. There is a vast difference between a true friend and a social media “friend.” A true friend is a person we know, like, and trust. A social media “friend” can be someone we may not know, have faith in, or even like. A work “friend” can be a person we spend much of our day interacting with but may not be someone we feel close or connected... Continue Reading