Deborah Heiser

This is an article written by an expert in the field – a long-time lawyer who now specializes in helping individuals resolve disputes. Current or anticipated changes in the life of a family elder can trigger a variety of conflicts within the extended family. Changes such as the death of a spouse, the elder’s declining health, general health and safety concerns, issues around independence, self-determination, and the safety of the elder, and others often act as triggering events for conflict within a family. A change in relationships can also trigger family conflict. Changes such as subsequent... Continue Reading

Planning meaningful projects with your partner is a powerful bonding experience. When you think of giving back, what comes to mind? For most, it is a personal endeavor involving volunteering, mentoring, and philanthropy. If this is what you imagine for yourself, this is great! If this is what you are already doing, keep going. But don’t stop there. The Right Side of 40 is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. There is another way to give back, and it can bring you and your partner emotionally closer: giving back... Continue Reading

January is National Mentor Month. But, really, every month is mentor month. As the Founder and CEO of The Mentor Project, I am able to see the impact mentoring makes on mentees around the world. Mentors are everywhere and often where we least expect them. Who was your first mentor? Who helped shape you into the person you are now? And who do you mentor? Take a moment this month to recognize the mentors in your life. I’ll start… My first mentor was my grandfather, Charles S. Crook, II, a decorated Captain in the US Army in World War II, who is now buried in Arlington Cemetery.   As... Continue Reading

Today I’m announcing a brand new addition to my Substack publication: The Right Side of 40 subscriber chat. This is a conversation space in the Substack app that I set up exclusively for my subscribers — kind of like a group chat or live hangout. I’ll post short prompts, thoughts, and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion. The Right Side of 40 is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. To join our chat, you’ll need to download the Substack app (messages are sent via the... Continue Reading

When you think of how you’d like to spend your time, does it involve a schedule or routine? Like many, you may envision days of relaxation as time spent without structure, deadlines, or set times. No alarm clocks, meetings, appointments, or deadlines. On the contrary, the fantasy of the perfect relaxing day is one that we allow to unfold naturally. While structure seems to embody rigidity and may even be a source of stress, research shows a structured day is actually good for us (Fogg, 2019). Structure plays a role in influencing human behavior and helps us understand the steps required... Continue Reading

Most people think of aging as physical decline, frailty, infirmed states, and navigating a slow cognitive failure and death.  There is so much we have to look forward to as we age. Emotional growth continues throughout life. What is the first thing you think of when someone says “old age”? Most people think of aging as physical decline, frailty, infirmed states, and navigating a slow cognitive failure and death.  How do I know this?  As an aging specialist, this thinking causes people to run away from me at cocktail parties.  When I introduce myself as an aging specialist,... Continue Reading

Intrinsic motivation helps us to get engaged and stay engaged. We have control over our cause. Harnessing our intrinsic motivation is essential—and simple. What is it you enjoy most? Think of something that no one needs to urge you to do, remind you to do, or that you put off because you’d rather be doing something else for someone that might be reading, doing a crossword puzzle, gardening, cooking, or a sport. Avid readers love to read for pleasure, as a way to relax. But what happens if an avid reader is paid to read? Their love for reading starts to feel like work, and they... Continue Reading

How many times have you heard “Go find a mentor”? Most people think of mentoring as hierarchical. Mentees look for a mentor, a few rungs up the ladder, to open doors, guide, and provide opportunities for them. Traditional mentorship is simple and often very effective. But did you know there is another way to find a mentor? I’m talking about lateral mentors. Let me explain. No one needs to tell us the value of finding a mentor who can help us climb the career ladder to success. Someone in our field who has already gone down the path we are looking to go down ourselves. Although... Continue Reading

The Giving Season is right around the corner. We spend the fourth quarter of the year digging into pockets and donating to charities. It is a season dedicated to giving, tied to holidays and the time of the year when we can squeeze in our year end tax-deductible donations. But did you know this season is not just a time of year? It is also a time in our lives. The saying “Tis better to give than to receive” is true! Giving is an act we crave – and not just a few months of the year. Just think of how you feel when you give a gift to someone, and they open it, and joy spreads across... Continue Reading

In our last election, who would have thought we’d see two septuagenarians battling for the presidency? It wasn’t long ago that the Beatles’ hit “When I’m 64” revealed that 64 was considered old: “Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m 64?” That’s because a mere 40 years ago, we were old when we reached our 60’s! We’ve come a long way. The President of the United States is 79 years old and will end his first presidential term as an octogenarian. Betty White died at 99 on December 31, 2021, a beloved household name across generations. The Netflix Series... Continue Reading