What I Discussed With Dr. Jenn Kennedy…
– The two problems that bring most couples over 50 into sex Therapy, and why embarrassment keeps them away for so long.
– Why an unreliable erection doesn’t mean the end of pleasure, and what “pivoting” actually looks like in bed.
– The surprising sensitivity of a soft penis, and why porn has left us all badly under-educated.
– Why sex that “feels like sandpaper” is so common after Menopause, and the fixes that work within weeks.
– The generational reason women over 50 feel funny about keeping lube by the bed.
– Why the low-desire partner usually doesn’t dislike sex. She dislikes the sex she’s having.
– How pressure turns desire into obligation, and what brings real desire back instead.
– The two words that reignite Relationships after decades together.
Show Notes
Is it okay to say things aren’t working in the bedroom? That’s the question, according to my guest, that couples are silently asking as they walk into her office. Erections that have become unreliable. Sex that hurts. Desire that seems to have packed up and left. Most people wait years before saying any of it out loud.
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr Jenn Kennedy, clinical sexologist, licensed Marriage and Family therapist and founder of The Pleasure Project in Santa Barbara. Jenn works with couples and individuals in their 50s, 60s and beyond, and she’s refreshingly frank about what she sees: bodies that change with age, partners drowning in shame about it, and simple fixes that nobody has bothered to tell them exist.
What I Love about this conversation is how practical it gets. We talk about what to do in the actual moment an erection doesn’t arrive. We talk about vaginal estrogen, the treatment that clears up painful sex in weeks, and why so many women have never heard of it. And we land on Jenn’s most freeing insight: the partner who has “gone off sex” usually hasn’t gone off sex at all. She’s gone off sex where her pleasure comes last.
Whether you’re partnered, Dating or somewhere in between, this episode is full of things you can actually use. Including, for the men, the simplest question in the entire universe. Ask it daily. Then listen to the answer.
Listen, learn and enjoy.
Key Takeaways
– Dysfunction and dissatisfaction are the two main reasons couples over 50 seek sex therapy.
– Pivoting to what feels good keeps shame out of the room, and often brings things back.
– Sensitivity doesn’t disappear with an erection.
– Painful sex after menopause is common, treatable and nothing to be ashamed of.
– Lube is not a failure.
– Vaginal estrogen can transform painful sex in weeks, yet many women are never told about it.
– Pressuring a low-desire partner creates obligation, not desire.
– The low-desire partner often enjoys sex.
– Desire lives in play, curiosity and banter, not in routine.
About the Guest
Dr. Jenn Kennedy is a clinical sexologist and LMFT specialising in sex and couples. In 2023, Dr. Jenn launched The Pleasure Project, which is dedicated to helping us all have a better sex life. She hosts a podcast called Pleasure Project: Sex & Relationships and offers small group intensives for women and couples. She recently launched a self-guided Intimacy course for women and owns a 9-person group therapy practice called Riviera Therapy. Dr Jenn has been quoted in Redbook, Reader’s Digest, Forbes Health, DailyOm, Shondaland, Parade, Allure, Yahoo!, and others. She is often tapped to discuss intimacy and sexuality for therapists and physicians.
About Suzanne
Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex… or silence about it.
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Related Episodes
Why Long-Term Couples Drift Apart, and the Simple Habit That Brings Them Back: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-the-spark-and-how
The Simple Practice That Brought Intimacy Back After 20 Years: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-waiting-to-feel-in-the-mood-doesnt
Bonus Live: The Relationship Lesson That Ends So Much Conflict: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-the-relationship-lesson
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