Welcome back to the ‘Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast,’ where we delve deep into the emotional journey of divorce recovery for men over 40. In our latest episode, I had the pleasure of chatting with Suzan Peltikian, a passionate peak performance coach and global speaker. Suzan is dedicated to helping individuals transform their mindsets and manifest their dreams—a truly positive force for change.
In our conversation, we explored several key topics including the challenges of co-parenting, the importance of self-care during recovery, and what true healing looks like for men navigating life after divorce. Here are some powerful insights and practical tools to support your journey toward a brighter future.
Co-Parenting: The Power of Perspective
Co-parenting can be one of the most challenging aspects of post-divorce life. Suzan emphasized that our situations often come as lessons, presenting opportunities for Growth and transformation. “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” she recited, echoing Mahatma Gandhi’s Wisdom. This means that in co-parenting, the way we show up—regardless of how our ex-partners behave—determines the quality of our Relationships and our overall well-being.
Suzan reminded us that we’re not just bodies; we are limitless souls. By focusing on self-transformation, we can break generational patterns and evolve into better versions of ourselves. The emotions we carry can either hold us back or propel us forward, and it’s our responsibility to choose wisely.
Self-Care: The Foundation of Recovery
When discussing self-care, Suzan challenged the notion that men must always take care of others first. She encouraged men to prioritize themselves, stating, “You are number one of one.” In a world where society has often taught men to suppress their emotions, it’s vital to recognize the importance of nurturing one’s mind, body, and soul.
Finding what sparks joy and makes you happy is crucial. Engaging in self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for your healing process. As Suzan put it, “We cannot pour from an empty cup.” So, take time for yourself—whether it’s through Exercise, hobbies, or simply enjoying quiet moments.
Reclaiming Identity After Divorce
Divorce can leave men feeling lost, grappling with a sense of identity. Suzan offered a straightforward solution: start by crafting a vision for your life. Writing down what you want and who you aspire to be is a powerful step toward redefining your identity.
Suzanne emphasized that “we don’t get what we want; we get who we are being.” By focusing on self-affirming “I am” statements, you reinforce your new identity and begin to attract the life you desire. Visualizing positive outcomes, especially in co-parenting, is crucial to manifesting a harmonious future.
The Importance of Language
Words matter—both what we say to ourselves and how we speak about others. Suzan pointed out that negative self-talk can perpetuate a cycle of victimhood. Instead of giving power to external circumstances, it’s essential to reclaim that power by changing our internal dialogue.
By practicing mindfulness and being aware of our thoughts, we can shift our mindset from one of scarcity to abundance. Remember, every thought is a seed that you plant in your life’s garden. Choose wisely what you nurture.
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