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What is the biggest frustration about…?

When we delve into the intricate realm of Grief, guilt, and self-judgment, we often unearth an array of frustrations that can feel overwhelming. It’s like navigating a maze where every turn reveals a new challenge, each with its unique emotional weight.

Imagine walking through a dense forest, the path ahead obscured by the shadows of your doubts and struggles. In this emotional landscape, one of the most significant frustrations surfaces: the relentless tug-of-war between grief and guilt.

Grief, the raw and natural response to loss, can be a perplexing journey. It’s like an unpredictable rollercoaster ride—in some moments you’re climbing toward acceptance, and in others, you’re hurtling down into the depths of despair. Amid this emotional whirlwind, guilt often emerges as an unwelcome companion.

Guilt can manifest in myriad ways, wrapping itself around memories, conversations, or decisions made in the past. It whispers, “What if?” and “Should have,” casting a shadow over the grieving journey. This intersection of grief and guilt is where the frustration intensifies, creating confusion within yourself.

Self-judgment enters the fray, amplifying these frustrations. It’s like holding a mirror up to your actions, thoughts, and emotions, scrutinizing every detail, and finding yourself falling short. The internal dialogue becomes a relentless loop of self-criticism, further complicating the grieving journey.

In this labyrinth of emotions, the biggest frustration might be the elusive quest for closure. Closure, often portrayed as a destination—a point where grief and pain dissipate—can feel like an unattainable mirage. The longing for closure can lead to impatience and a sense of stagnation, adding layers to the already complex emotional landscape.

Furthermore, societal perceptions and expectations can compound these frustrations. The pressure to “move on” or adhere to a timeline of healing can feel suffocating. It’s as if grief is expected to keep to a schedule, while in reality, it ebbs and flows in its own time.

Yet, within this maze of frustrations, there’s a glimmer of hope—the recognition that grief, guilt, and self-judgment are parts of the human experience. They’re not adversaries to conquer but companions to acknowledge and navigate with patience and self-compassion.

By embracing the frustrations as part of the journey, and by allowing space for the complexities of feelings without judgment, a new perspective emerges. It’s about granting yourself permission to grieve authentically, acknowledging the nuances, and finding peace of mind rather than fixating on a destination.

The biggest frustration about grief, guilt, and self-judgment isn’t in their existence but in the resistance to accept them as integral components of healing. Embracing these emotions with kindness, understanding, and self-compassion can pave a path toward a more profound sense of healing and self-awareness.

Remember, this journey is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. It’s about honouring your own pace, acknowledging the frustrations, and finding grace within the complexities of grieving.

 

Maria Belanic Grief and Mental Wellness Coach

Maria Belanic is a Grief and Mental Wellness Coach who has made her purpose to be a disruptor in shifting the conversation around grief. Maria supports individuals in their grief journey with the awareness that there is no need to "be fixed" or "get over it.

It's not about forcing yourself to move on, but rather about discovering a path that is suitable for you to move forward when you feel ready. Maria is the creator of the 5 Pillar of Care framework which includes accepting self-compassion, releasing blame and shame, and tuning into your intuition. Grief can impact all aspects of your life, affecting the connection between your body, mind, and soul.

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