Lorraine Segal » Contributors: Expert Voices On Baby Boomer Life & Legacy

Carrots And Sincere Apologies &Raquo; 6 23 3Sm 1

Photo by Feodor Chistyakov on Unsplash Carrots and Sincere Apologies Giving and receiving a sincere apology may feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar, but it can go a long way to transforming a conflict. R…

Photo by Feodor Chis…

Photo by Feodor Chistyakov on Unsplash Carrots and Sincere Apologies Giving and receiving a sincere apology may feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar, but it can go a long way to transforming a conflict. Recently, I had an unexpected experience in my local grocery store that ended with a good apology. I was in the produce section picking out some loose carrots from the bin. I like the big ones, because they’re quicker to peel than a larger number of skinny ones. The bin was wide enough for two people to stand next to each other, and a woman came up on my right and started picking big carrots too.…

Lorraine Segal April 14, 2025

Carrots and Sincere Apologies

Photo by Feodor Chistyakov on Unsplash Carrots and Sincere Apologies Giving and receiving a sincere apology may feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar, but it can go a long way to transforming a conflict. R…

Photo by Feodor Chis…

Photo by Feodor Chistyakov on Unsplash Carrots and Sincere Apologies Giving and receiving a sincere apology may feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar, but it can go a long way to transforming a conflict. Recently, I had an unexpected experience in my local grocery store that ended with a good apology. I was in the produce section picking out some loose carrots from the bin. I like the big ones, because they’re quicker to peel than a larger number of skinny ones. The bin was wide enough for two people to stand next to each other, and a woman came up on my right and started picking big carrots too.…

Lorraine Segal April 14, 2025

Forgive and Walk Away

Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash Forgive and Walk Away It is perfectly ok to forgive someone AND still walk away. One of the persistent myths about forgiveness is that if you forgive someone, y…

Photo by Alexandru Z…

Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash Forgive and Walk Away It is perfectly ok to forgive someone AND still walk away. One of the persistent myths about forgiveness is that if you forgive someone, you have to continue being friends or colleagues. Sometimes continuing a relationship after forgiveness is possible. In that case, forgiveness includes accepting that people inevitably make mistakes, because it is part of being human. If you make room for that idea, then you can let go of the judgement tied to a false expectation of perfection. A persistent pattern of disrespect Other times, someon…

Lorraine Segal March 14, 2025

Beautifully Simple Solutions to Conflict

Photo by Edward Howell on Unsplash Beautifully Simple Solutions to Conflict What does it take to find a beautifully simple solution to a problem or conflict? We humans have an awesome ability to solve…

Photo by Edward Howe…

Photo by Edward Howell on Unsplash Beautifully Simple Solutions to Conflict What does it take to find a beautifully simple solution to a problem or conflict? We humans have an awesome ability to solve problems and work through differences, but we also can easily over-complicate a situation. I experienced this recently around filing a simple tax form. Because I have my own business and a virtual assistant, I needed to file a 1099 form. My accountant would have done it for a fee, but I thought it was easy enough that I could do it myself. I had to order the form rather than download it because…

Lorraine Segal February 17, 2025

Bean Soup and Conflict

Photo by Christina Rumpf on Unsplash Bean Soup and Conflict. What in the world does bean soup have to do with conflict? A woman posts a recipe for a nutritious iron rich bean soup on TikTok. And in …

Photo by Christina R…

Photo by Christina Rumpf on Unsplash Bean Soup and Conflict. What in the world does bean soup have to do with conflict? A woman posts a recipe for a nutritious iron rich bean soup on TikTok. And in many comments, people complain that (gasp) the soup has beans in it. They ask how to make it without beans or what the alternative to beans would be, because they don’t like or can’t eat beans. They rate the recipe negatively. Some observers of social media have started calling this increasingly common phenomena beanification. It is also known as “but what about me?” I myself have had …

Lorraine Segal January 17, 2025

Listening With Your Third Ear

Listening with Your Third Ear Active listening, compassionate listening, listening to understand, deep listening, divine listening. I have used all these expressions when explaining to students and …

Listening with Your …

Listening with Your Third Ear Active listening, compassionate listening, listening to understand, deep listening, divine listening. I have used all these expressions when explaining to students and clients how powerful listening can be for effective conflict transformation. And I use these concepts to help me listen more deeply and effectively to my own clients. I am particularly charmed by this term, listening with the third ear, because it evokes listening with intuitive awareness beyond the physical, of deeply understanding what isn’t said. In psychic circles, practitioners talk frequ…

Lorraine Segal December 14, 2024

Fifteen Years of Conflict Remedy

Fifteen Years of Conflict Remedy This month, November 2024, I have been writing and publishing my blog for fifteen years. I’m amazed I have kept it up all these years, but time truly does go quickly…

Fifteen Years of Con…

Fifteen Years of Conflict Remedy This month, November 2024, I have been writing and publishing my blog for fifteen years. I’m amazed I have kept it up all these years, but time truly does go quickly when you’re having fun! I’ve been reflecting on this achievement, and I decided, as a whimsical celebration, to interview myself about it all. Conflict Remedy: So, you’ve been writing your blog for fifteen years now. What does that milestone mean to you? Lorraine Segal: Gosh, it really means a lot. Fifteen years ago in June, I escaped from my horrifically toxic workplace and started my own …

Lorraine Segal November 17, 2024

What Do Small Business Owners Need to Understand about Conflict?

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash What Do Small Business Owners Need to Understand about Conflict? I have worked with a number of leaders and teams in small businesses. They, like bigger businesses an…

Photo by Brooke Cagl…

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash What Do Small Business Owners Need to Understand about Conflict? I have worked with a number of leaders and teams in small businesses. They, like bigger businesses and organizations, sometimes need help to navigate conflict and communicate effectively. Every business is unique, with its own set of strengths and challenges, but over time I have found some commonalities in conflict related mistakes small business owners make and what changes they can make, with help and support, to ensure they flourish over the long term. Here are some suggestions my clients hav…

Lorraine Segal October 14, 2024

How to Make Every Mistake in a Conflict

Photo by Mikhail Nilov: https://www.pexels.com/ How to Make Every Mistake in a Conflict I read a letter in Dear Abby the other day which demonstrated a lot of the basic mistakes people make in a confl…

Photo by Mikhail Nil…

Photo by Mikhail Nilov: https://www.pexels.com/ How to Make Every Mistake in a Conflict I read a letter in Dear Abby the other day which demonstrated a lot of the basic mistakes people make in a conflict. This one was about family dynamics, but the analysis and solution apply to many workplace situations as well. Dear Abby suggested family Therapy, airing grievances and reaching an agreement, all of which could be helpful. But I want to offer a more nuanced conflict transformation perspective. The situation, as explained in her letter by the mother: The father drops in on his son and fiancée …

Lorraine Segal September 16, 2024

Use Your Super Power to Transform Conflict

Photo by Michelle Cassar on Unsplash Use your super power to transform conflict. When you envision a super power, what comes to mind first? My wonderful niece, who loves science fiction and fantasy ju…

Photo by Michelle Ca…

Photo by Michelle Cassar on Unsplash Use your super power to transform conflict. When you envision a super power, what comes to mind first? My wonderful niece, who loves science fiction and fantasy just as much as I do, pointed out to me that the superpowers featured in movies and comics are frequently about making you a better fighter. But, she continued, that subset is extremely limited compared to the full range of super powers we could imagine. Since my work is all about peaceful conflict transformation, I was intrigued and curious to hear more. She introduced me to an impressive, lengthy …

Lorraine Segal August 19, 2024

How To Transform Conflict at Work

Photo by Antoni Shkraba: How To Transform Conflict at Work: One Example I just got concrete confirmation that the training and coaching I do to help leaders and others manage conflict more effectively…

Photo by Antoni Shkr…

Photo by Antoni Shkraba: How To Transform Conflict at Work: One Example I just got concrete confirmation that the training and coaching I do to help leaders and others manage conflict more effectively actually works! Last year, I created a 10 hour five session training program for the staff of a California state agency. The executive director, with whom I’d been doing leadership coaching, was deeply concerned about the agency’s overall conflict competence. Every year the agency staff filled out a self-assessment, their annual “climate” survey, about how the agency was doing on a variet…

Lorraine Segal July 15, 2024