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Photo by Mikhail Nilov: https://www.pexels.com/ How to Make Every Mistake in a Conflict I read a letter in Dear Abby the other day which demonstrated a lot of the basic mistakes people make in a confl…
Photo by Mikhail Nil…
Photo by Mikhail Nilov: https://www.pexels.com/ How to Make Every Mistake in a Conflict I read a letter in Dear Abby the other day which demonstrated a lot of the basic mistakes people make in a conflict. This one was about family dynamics, but the analysis and solution apply to many workplace situations as well. Dear Abby suggested family Therapy, airing grievances and reaching an agreement, all of which could be helpful. But I want to offer a more nuanced conflict transformation perspective. The situation, as explained in her letter by the mother: The father drops in on his son and fiancée …
Lorraine Segal
September 16, 2024 
Photo by Michelle Cassar on Unsplash Use your super power to transform conflict. When you envision a super power, what comes to mind first? My wonderful niece, who loves science fiction and fantasy ju…
Photo by Michelle Ca…
Photo by Michelle Cassar on Unsplash Use your super power to transform conflict. When you envision a super power, what comes to mind first? My wonderful niece, who loves science fiction and fantasy just as much as I do, pointed out to me that the superpowers featured in movies and comics are frequently about making you a better fighter. But, she continued, that subset is extremely limited compared to the full range of super powers we could imagine. Since my work is all about peaceful conflict transformation, I was intrigued and curious to hear more. She introduced me to an impressive, lengthy …
Lorraine Segal
August 19, 2024 
Photo by Antoni Shkraba: How To Transform Conflict at Work: One Example I just got concrete confirmation that the training and coaching I do to help leaders and others manage conflict more effectively…
Photo by Antoni Shkr…
Photo by Antoni Shkraba: How To Transform Conflict at Work: One Example I just got concrete confirmation that the training and coaching I do to help leaders and others manage conflict more effectively actually works! Last year, I created a 10 hour five session training program for the staff of a California state agency. The executive director, with whom I’d been doing leadership coaching, was deeply concerned about the agency’s overall conflict competence. Every year the agency staff filled out a self-assessment, their annual “climate” survey, about how the agency was doing on a variet…
Lorraine Segal
July 15, 2024 
Mobbing and the Tallest Poppy: How Women’s Achievements at Work Are Cut Down.
Mobbing and the Tall…
Mobbing and the Tallest Poppy: How Women’s Achievements at Work Are Cut Down.
Lorraine Segal
November 20, 2023 
Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash Genuine Question or Disguised Judgment? Asking genuine curious questions is a powerful tool to improve listening, get through road blocks in difficult conversatio…
Photo by Museums Vic…
Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash Genuine Question or Disguised Judgment? Asking genuine curious questions is a powerful tool to improve listening, get through road blocks in difficult conversations, and gain compassionate understanding of another person’s perspective. But even when you’re trying to be authentic and genuine, you might fall into the trap of asking rhetorical questions. They are not real questions (even if they look like it) but disguised judgments. How can you be sure your questions are helpful? What is your true purpose? Fundamentally, it depends on your true purpose. …
Lorraine Segal
May 20, 2023 
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash Good leaders navigate conflict skillfully. When I first began coaching managers, team leads, HR professionals and C Suite professionals, my focus was…
Photo by Christina @…
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash Good leaders navigate conflict skillfully. When I first began coaching managers, team leads, HR professionals and C Suite professionals, my focus was completely on helping them building skills to understand and navigate conflict and improve communication when things get tough. That is still an essential part of the work I do with clients, but I’ve realized over the years that I need to call what I do leadership coaching as well. Why? Because being able to deal effectively with conflict, your own and others people’s is an essential leadersh…
Lorraine Segal
April 17, 2023 
Photo by Krys Amon on Unsplash Graphic by Lorraine Segal What is the Rashomon Effect? And how can it help with Conflict? In my twenties, I got hooked on old Japanese Samurai movies and watched many ci…
Photo by Krys Amon o…
Photo by Krys Amon on Unsplash Graphic by Lorraine Segal What is the Rashomon Effect? And how can it help with Conflict? In my twenties, I got hooked on old Japanese Samurai movies and watched many cinema classics. The one that made the biggest impression, so that it haunted me decades later, was called Rashomon. Rashomon was truly groundbreaking–the first movie I’m aware of to tell the same story from the perspective of three different characters. I wanted to use the movie to make a point about assumptions in a class I was teaching on conflict management, so I went looking online for a mo…
Lorraine Segal
March 20, 2023 
