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Forgive and Walk Away
It is perfectly ok to forgive someone AND still walk away. One of the persistent myths about forgiveness is that if you forgive someone, you have to continue being friends or colleagues. Sometimes continuing a relationship after forgiveness is possible. In that case, forgiveness includes accepting that people inevitably make mistakes, because it is part of being human. If you make room for that idea, then you can let go of the judgement tied to a false expectation of perfection.
A persistent pattern of disrespect
Other times, someone has engaged in a persistent pattern of disrespect or behavior that is unacceptable and they can’t seem to change even when you talk to them about it and share the impact on you. It is still to your benefit to forgive them AND still walk away from the situation or relationship.
Why forgive if you’re going to walk away anyway?
In my experience, if you can’t forgive, you leave parts of yourself behind, embedded in resentment and in the situation. You can’t walk away clean and whole, ready to embrace the next experience unless you can let go of the hurt.
How can you forgive?
The short version: you need to believe that forgiveness will benefit you and your wellbeing; that it really isn’t about them and what they did or said. Commit to doing whatever it takes to truly leave it/them in the past. Then find techniques that work for you to vent or rant if needed, then let it all go. One practice that helps me is affirming that this person did the best they knew how to do (even if it was awful) and then release it/them. I’ve shared a number of different techniques for forgiving and letting go in various blog articles, some of which are linked below.
Forgiveness truly is a gift you can give yourself to promote your peace of mind and well-being.
Some related blog articles:
Letting Go of Grudges and Resentments
How Catch and Release Helps Conflict
Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace. Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and Coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here. Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.
© 2025 Lorraine Segal ConflictRemedy
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