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Finding Your Tribe

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Finding Your Tribe

In last week’s episode of EZ Conversations, I had a powerful discussion with Justin Nault (Listen Here). We explored his journey from becoming a musician and feeling performative to finding his true calling: guiding people to make better life choices. We talked about myths about eating nutritional food and making healthier choices and the more significant impact these choices can have. At the fundamental level, our discussion revolved around the Aristotelian notion that we are what we do. Making disciplined choices and doing them consistently results in habits that determine who we become. However, another idea that emerged during our discussion and something I have reflected on the past week is surrounding ourselves with people who live according to the same values and principles to grow together.

At times, when we are pursuing a path of Growth and making tough choices, we can feel alone on that journey. But living in alignment and authentically allows us to attract the people we can serve and enable each other’s development. Finding our tribe requires patience and persistence, and often, people confuse being alone with loneliness, but being alone is a choice that comes with liberation. In solitude, we can become extremely clear about our values and ethics. Then, we put ourselves in better situations to invite people who align with the same values and principles and contribute to our inner peace rather than disrupting it. Therefore, in this week’s edition of EZ Reflections, I wanted to expand on the value of finding our tribe and why it is crucial for growth and inner peace.

The Psychological and Emotional Benefits of Belonging

The need for social connection is deeply ingrained in human nature. Evolutionary psychology suggests that our ancestors relied on close-knit groups for survival, and modern research confirms that belonging is a fundamental psychological need.

  • A study published in Psychological Science found that feelings of social connection correlate with reduced Stress levels and increased happiness (Lieberman, 2013).

  • Harvard’s longest-running study on adult development revealed that strong Relationships are the most significant predictor of happiness and health over a lifetime (Waldinger & Schulz, 2015).

  • The absence of a sense of belonging can lead to Anxiety, Depression, and lower self-esteem, according to research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).

Finding one’s tribe provides emotional support, validation, and a sense of Security, making it easier to navigate life’s challenges.

Enhancing Long-Term Performance Through Community

Performance—whether in career, sports, or personal endeavours—is a function of skill, hard work, and the environment in which one operates.

  • Motivation and Accountability: Studies in organizational behaviour indicate that employees who feel a strong sense of belonging are more engaged, productive, and resilient to Burnout (Gallup, 2020).

  • Mastery and Growth: A study published in Nature Communications found that learning and skill acquisition improve when individuals engage with a supportive peer group (Muthukrishna & Henrich, 2016).

  • Innovation and Problem-Solving: Diverse and supportive communities encourage knowledge sharing and creativity, which is essential for long-term success (Page, 2007).

Surrounding oneself with high-performing, like-minded individuals creates an environment where excellence is the norm, pushing members toward continuous improvement.

Personal Growth and Self-Actualization

Finding one’s tribe is also essential for long-term personal growth. In the framework of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, belongingness is a prerequisite for self-actualization.

  • Emotional Resilience: Research published in The American Journal of Psychiatry found that individuals with strong social support networks recover faster from Trauma and setbacks (Ozbay et al., 2007).

  • Identity and Purpose: A tribe reinforces core values and offers a mirror through which individuals can better understand themselves and refine their goals (Haslam et al., 2009).

  • Opportunities for Growth: Mentorship and peer learning within a tribe accelerate personal and professional development (Dweck, 2006).

When individuals feel seen and supported, they are more likely to take risks, embrace challenges, and strive toward meaningful goals.

How to Find Your Tribe

While the benefits of finding a tribe are clear, many struggle to cultivate these meaningful connections. Here are some strategies:

  1. Clarify Your Values and Interests – Identify what matters most to you and seek groups that align with those principles.

  2. Engage in Communities – Join professional networks, social clubs, or online forums that share your passions.

  3. Seek Out Mentors and Role Models – Surround yourself with people who inspire and challenge you.

  4. Give Before You Take – Build genuine relationships by offering support, knowledge, and encouragement.

  5. Be Open and Vulnerable – Authenticity fosters deeper connections and a stronger sense of belonging.

References

  • Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 117(3), 497-529.

  • Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.

  • Gallup (2020). State of the Global Workplace Report.

  • Haslam, S. A., Jetten, J., Postmes, T., & Haslam, C. (2009). Social identity, health and well-being: An emerging agenda for applied psychology. Applied Psychology, 58(1), 1-23.

  • Lieberman, M. D. (2013). Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. Crown Publishing.

  • Muthukrishna, M., & Henrich, J. (2016). Innovation in the collective brain. Nature Communications, 7(1), 1-10.

  • Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., Morgan III, C. A., Charney, D., & Southwick, S. (2007). Social support and resilience to stress. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 164(6), 813-818.

  • Page, S. E. (2007). The Difference: How the Power of Diversity Creates Better Groups, Firms, Schools, and Societies. Princeton University Press.

  • Waldinger, R., & Schulz, M. S. (2015). The Harvard Study of Adult Development: Conclusions from 75 years of research. Harvard Gazette.

Dr. Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT helps people recognize the power of communication.  It is one of our most important skills that we have, and yet we don’t consider our understanding, approach, belief, and therefore, miss our possibilities.  Living with a paranoid schizophrenic mother gave Dr. Heather a unique and powerful awareness that no one has the same reality, though we believe we do.  Utilizing this revolutionary awareness has allowed her to transform communication within self and within all other types of relationship.  This is the hidden key to acceptance.  And this is her mission to share.

As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy.  She is a TedX Speaker and Keynote Speaker.  Her couple’s communication book, Speaking with the Heart: Transforming Your Relationship and Communication with Compassion and Connection, which offers readers a practical way to understand what it takes to truly communicate on a deeper level, not just with their partner, but within themselves, is now available in both paperback and Kindle.

. She is published in hundreds of journals, has an active YouTube channel, has been featured on ABC-7 news, was the relationship expert on KDOC Daybreak OC, and is published in Inc., Toronto Sun, Thriving Family Magazine,  Light + Life, BRAINZ, Scary Mommy, and Psychology Today.  She is a regular guest blogger for both Links for Shrinks and for Marriage Friendly Therapists. She offers a weekly newsletter packed with tips and techniques to improve relationships and has monthly workshops! Simply go to her website!
https://www.drheatherbrowne.com/

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