Do you want to be unique? Do you?

Or do you want to fit in and be like everyone around you?

Hmmmmmm…

Or do you want to be perfect?

Do you strive to be better than everyone else?

Most of us do a little of both, but at different times and in different places. And think about what this says to our view of our self? What do you say to you?

“Okay, here you gotta tone down, hide that, don’t be so much you, why can’t you be more like Joe….”

“Okay, so you can’t be all of y

ou at that meeting. But here, here on the socials, you need to be the best. You need to bring it all. Here you need to stand out more than everyone else. Here you must be perfect.”

What? What a conundrum we put ourselves in.

Sometimes you can be your amazing you and sometimes…

YOU ARE ALL WRONG.

I just heard a beautiful quote:

“Healing is not becoming the best version of yourself. Healing is letting the worst version of yourself be loved.”

I don’t know who said it but I will keep repeating it.

Letting yourself be loved.

Being human isn’t about being perfect.  

It’s about changing and adapting and becoming and hopefully receiving and loving. It’s about being as you are right now.

Healing isn’t a straight line. It isn’t linear at all because healing takes you right into the middle of the mess and calls you to clean through all the the snags and spills. It’s messy, awkward, and it shows us all that we have tried to keep hidden. Don’t let people see who you really are. You are not ok. If people really knew you…

SPLAT! Ugh! Healing is not about becoming the perfect version of ourselves. Healing is about embracing our mess, our splats and spills, the I don’t know what the heck I am doing me and loving our scared, lonely, insecure aspects of ourselves more.

This is me. This is where I am today. I am growing. I am changing. I am learning. Mistakes are a big part of my learning. I am a genius at change! Ha! Love comes in this moment, because it is offered. Will you offer it to yourself right now?

If this is hard for you, a session together can help you listen to that harsh. critical voice within you and learn how to start to shift it into one that is helpful, supportive, focused, and kind. Compassion and attention to you is the key. Pop me an email if you’d like to book a session.

Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT

Dr. Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT helps people recognize the power of communication.  It is one of our most important skills that we have, and yet we don’t consider our understanding, approach, belief, and therefore, miss our possibilities.  Living with a paranoid schizophrenic mother gave Dr. Heather a unique and powerful awareness that no one has the same reality, though we believe we do.  Utilizing this revolutionary awareness has allowed her to transform communication within self and within all other types of relationship.  This is the hidden key to acceptance.  And this is her mission to share.

As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy.  She is a TedX Speaker and Keynote Speaker.  Her couple’s communication book, Speaking with the Heart: Transforming Your Relationship and Communication with Compassion and Connection, which offers readers a practical way to understand what it takes to truly communicate on a deeper level, not just with their partner, but within themselves, is now available in both paperback and Kindle.

. She is published in hundreds of journals, has an active YouTube channel, has been featured on ABC-7 news, was the relationship expert on KDOC Daybreak OC, and is published in Inc., Toronto Sun, Thriving Family Magazine,  Light + Life, BRAINZ, Scary Mommy, and Psychology Today.  She is a regular guest blogger for both Links for Shrinks and for Marriage Friendly Therapists. She offers a weekly newsletter packed with tips and techniques to improve relationships and has monthly workshops! Simply go to her website!
https://www.drheatherbrowne.com/