Connections: Forging meaningful relationships later in life
Attachment — the maintaining of family and social Relationships as we age – is one of the 7A’s of SuperAging. Not only is it good for our health and happiness, but it could impact how long we live.
The science is clear: loneliness is, in and of itself, a serious risk to health and longevity. According to the Centres of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the list of potential harms is long: an increased risk of dementia by over 50%, heart disease by 29%, and Stroke by 32%. Poor social relationships have also been associated with a higher risk for premature death from all causes.
The risks of loneliness extend to our mental health, as well. Tyler VanderWeele, Professor of Epidemiology at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and senior author of a 2023 study on loneliness and social isolation, found that people “experiencing loneliness had more than a 2½-fold increase in the likelihood of Depression.”
“There is something about relationships, social connectedness, community life, that is central to what it is to be human, what it is to flourish,” VanderWeele told the Harvard Gazette.
But here’s the sting. Unlike our younger years – where meeting new people was basically baked into everyday life, say, through school and related activities – it’s not always so easy to make new social connections as an adult.
Places to socialize
Venturing outside our comfort zones to meet new people can be awkward, weird and, well, just uncomfortable. “Feeling weird or uncomfortable is not the worst thing we can experience,” Amy Weatherly, co-author of a guide book on how to make friends,I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants), told Katie Couric Media. “Loneliness feels worse. Connection is worth the chance.”
With that in mind, let’s look at 10 expert-backed tips for making new friends and building social networks as we age.
1. Leverage hobbies and interests
One of the best ways to meet like-minded people is through shared interests. Whether you enjoy painting, gardening, or playing music, seek out groups or clubs that align with your hobbies. Community centers and local libraries often host activities and classes tailored to older adults, providing a relaxed environment to meet people with similar passions. Shared interests, of course, are great ice-breakers. And if at first you don’t succeed at making a connection … keep trying. Like with anything else, persistence is key.
“Repetition matters,” says Weatherly. “You will eventually strike up a conversation with someone once you see each other repeatedly.”
Tip: Websites like Meetup.com offer groups for a wide range of activities, allowing you to find in-person or virtual gatherings in your area.
2. Volunteer for a cause you care about
Volunteering is a fulfilling way to engage with your community while meeting people who share your values. Many SuperAgers find volunteering to be a source of purpose and belonging. As reported by Forbes, a BioLife poll reveals that “31% of people say they have made a close friend while volunteering and 22% of people choose to volunteer because of the social connections they expect to reinforce.” Whether you choose to support a local food bank, animal shelter, or hospital, working alongside others creates opportunities to forge deeper connections through shared experiences.
Bonus: Studies show that giving back through volunteering can improve mental health, reduce stress, and even increase longevity.
3. Join fitness or wellness groups
Exercise classes such as Yoga, tai chi, or walking clubs, offer more than just physical benefits—they’re also great social opportunities. Regularly attending group fitness classes provides consistency, allowing you to get to know people over time. Many wellness centers and gyms have programs designed to foster community and interaction beyond the workout. And if you’re feeling it, don’t shy away from suggesting a post-class coffee or smoothie.
Healthy perk: Regular physical activity is also linked to reduced feelings of depression and Anxiety, helping you feel more connected and uplifted. (See our story on The big benefits regular exercise brings to longevity.)
4. Explore educational opportunities
Learning doesn’t have to stop as we age. Many universities offer courses for older adults, either at discounted rates or through community outreach programs. Enrolling in a class not only stimulates the mind but also puts you in a social environment with others who are eager to learn and share their experiences. This setting naturally encourages discussion and relationship-building.
Resource: Consider joining an online learning platform, such as Coursera or edX, which offers courses and discussion forums where you can connect with people globally.
5. Attend social events or meetups
Sometimes, simply attending local social events can open the door to new friendships. Bookstores, community centers and places of worship often host activities such as literary events, game nights, potlucks or movie screenings. These events create a low-pressure environment for people to meet and mingle. Remember, while striking up a conversation with someone you don’t know can be awkward especially for the introverts among us, a friendly smile and introduction can go a long way.
6. Adopt technology to stay connected
As we reported here, Technology can be a useful tool for maintaining and building relationships. Video calls, social media, and even virtual game nights are all ways to stay connected with family, old friends, and new acquaintances. Using apps like Zoom or Skype allows you to interact face-to-face with people, even when they’re far away.
Try this: Join online communities, like our very own SuperAging Community on Facebook, or discussion forums tailored to your interests. You might be surprised by how easily you can form friendships online.
7. Rekindle old friendships
As we age, it’s natural for some friendships to fade, but that doesn’t mean they’re lost forever. Reaching out to old friends, former colleagues, or acquaintances can be an easy way to reestablish meaningful relationships. Social media platforms like Facebook and LinkedIn make reconnecting with past connections more accessible than ever. All it takes is sending a simple message or email to let them know you’re thinking of them and perhaps suggest meeting up or catching up over the phone.
8. Participate in religious or spiritual groups
Many of us find companionship and a sense of belonging in religious or spiritual groups. These communities often provide built-in support systems, offering opportunities for fellowship, social gatherings, and volunteering. If you’re religious or spiritual, joining a congregation or Meditation group may provide the connection you seek.
Bonus: Studies show that involvement in spiritual or religious practices is associated with improved mental and physical health, including increased longevity. (See our story ‘Livin’ on a prayer’: The impact of spirituality and religion on longevity.)
9. Be open – and pack your patience
Whether it’s getting to know your neighbors better or turning professional relationships into more personal ones, building new relationships can take time, so try not to get discouraged if they don’t deepen immediately. Instead, allow relationships to develop naturally and focus on enjoying the process of meeting, and getting to know, new people.
10. Consider a furry friend
As animal lovers know, adopting a pet can go a long way in reducing feelings of loneliness and isolation. Pets, particularly dogs, can also serve as social catalysts by encouraging you to get out and interact with others while walking or visiting pet-friendly spaces. (For more, read Beyond companionship: How having a pet can help you live longer.)
Building meaningful relationships later in life may require a bit more effort, but the rewards—better physical and mental health, increased longevity, and a supportive squad—are well worth it.
More on creating stronger social connections:
The loneliness epidemic: Why social isolation can be deadly – and what we can do about it
Virtual theater? It can improve social connectivity for older adults…and it’s already happening
Guest podcast: Dating in your 60s
5 ways artificial intelligence can improve your dating life
Can a robot friend overcome loneliness and isolation? It’s already happening
