By Jerry Zezima An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if I keep eating apples every day, I’ll need a doctor because I am full of apples right up to my — you guessed it — Adam’s apple. I have been consuming the fruits of my labors since my wife, Sue, and I […]

By Jerry Zezima If left to my own devices — the phone, the computer, the washing machine, the dryer, the dishwasher, the house alarm, the microwave, the doorbell camera and even Alexa, the digital voice assistant — I would run them all over with my car because they won’t stop beeping. But then the car […]

By Jerry Zezima If you need a shoulder to cry on, don’t blubber all over mine. I’m crying on my own shoulder these days because I have an injured rotator cuff. This means, unfortunately, that I won’t be able to pitch in the major leagues or make game-winning shots in the NBA. My mother once […]

By Jerry Zezima Even though I can barely make scrambled eggs, which become scrambled when I try to make fried eggs, I am more than just a flash in the pan. That’s why I am celebrating the 25th anniversary of my supreme culinary triumph, a dish called Zezima’s Zesty Ziti Zinger, which not only was […]

By Jerry Zezima Camilla Zezima sleeps with the fishes. Those eternal nappers include the first two Camillas and the countless other fish that have been part of our family, if only briefly, over the years. Camilla III, as she (or he) was dubbed, lasted 12 months and was predeceased by the original Camilla, a female […]

By Jerry Zezima It may be true that time waits for no man, unless his watch has stopped, but it sure isn’t true for any man — or woman — who attends a yard sale. That’s what I found out when my daughter recently had a sale that was supposed to begin at 9 a.m. […]

By Jerry Zezima I seldom write restaurant reviews for the sound journalistic reason that I seldom go to restaurants. That’s because I took a vow of poverty when I went into journalism and can’t afford to eat out too often. And whenever I do, it’s usually in a place where the most difficult dining decision […]

By Jerry Zezima If it weren’t for my wife, I would have starved to death long ago. That’s because Sue not only is an excellent cook who can make even vegetables appetizing (except squash, which should be squashed), but she does the food shopping. But recently Sue was under the weather, so for only the […]

By Jerry Zezima The great humorist Erma Bombeck said that no one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I’m glad Erma was right because otherwise my wife, Sue, and I would now be in the Great Bed, Bath & Beyond. We spent the better part of a week in the sack while being […]

By Jerry Zezima You don’t need a master’s degree in nuclear engineering to put furniture together. But I’m glad my son-in-law has one. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have a nice new love seat and a set of matching chairs on the patio. When it comes to home improvement, I am the epitome of DIY: Dimwitted Incompetent […]