Why I Started The Worthy Physician Podcast and Blog
From the moment we begin training as physicians, we’re conditioned to believe in our invincibility. We’re taught to prioritize patient care above all else, often at the expense of our well-being. Long hours, emotional strain and depletion, and the constant pressure to perform become our norm in life. And because we’ve chosen this path, we convince ourselves that we can handle it all—that we should handle it all.
For years, I believed this lie. I thought I was immune to the emotional toll of medicine. But the truth is, no one is. The first time I experienced Burnout, I didn’t even recognize it for what it was. I was exhausted, irritable, and detached. My passion for medicine—the very thing that had driven me through years of rigorous training—had waned. I felt like I was failing, not just as a physician but as a person. I couldn’t even greet my dogs when I first got home. I withdrew for nearly an hour before talking to anyone, including my four-legged friends.
I wanted to push through it, that a vacation or a change in routine would fix it. But burnout isn’t something you can outrun. It’s a signal that something deeper is going against core values, that the foundation you’re standing on is crumbling. Ignoring it only makes it worse.
The Loss That Changed Everything
In 2019, my world was shattered. My best friend from medical school and residency, a fellow physician, died by suicide in her office. She was brilliant, compassionate, and deeply dedicated to her patients. But beneath her professional exterior, she struggled—struggling in ways many of us do but rarely talk about.
Her death was a wake-up call. It forced me to confront the pervasive culture of silence in medicine, the stigma surrounding Mental Health, and the insidious ways burnout can erode even the strongest among us.
I’ll never forget the mixture of Grief and anger that consumed me in the weeks that followed. I kept asking myself, How did we miss the signs? Why didn’t she feel like she could reach out? And perhaps most painfully, Could I have done something to help? The truth was that she, Dr. Peg Bicker, had a real fear of professional repercussions.
Her death was not just a personal loss; it was a stark reminder of the stakes. The weight of this realization was almost unbearable, but it also became a catalyst. I knew I couldn’t let her story—or the stories of countless others like her—fade into obscurity.
Burnout, Round Two
In the aftermath of my friend’s death, I threw myself into my work, raising a growing family, using it as a distraction from my grief. But grief has a way of catching up with you, and it wasn’t long before I found myself back in the clutches of burnout. It was a culmination of reading about the suicide rate among physicians, the terms burnout and moral injury, and the grips of expectations in the US medical system.
This time, it was different. It wasn’t just about exhaustion or detachment; it was about a more profound sense of disillusionment. I began questioning everything: the system I was a part of, the sacrifices I had made, and the values I had once held dear. Were they all worth it, and if so, how could I change my reality to mirror what was true to me?
During this second bout of burnout, I realized something had to change. I couldn’t keep pouring from an empty cup. I couldn’t keep pretending that the system would fix itself or someone else would step in to address our challenges as physicians. I went part-time. In addition to working in a rural community, that was my answer to adhere to my obligations as a physician and to participate in a growing family. I was also a wife, mother, and daughter to ailing parents. I gained autonomy, though I was/am employed. I gained time with my family and, yes, work-life balance. I am still working in the same position today.
The Birth of The Worthy Physician
Out of this dark period came a spark of Clarity. I wanted to create something that would address the unspoken struggles of being a physician, particularly for those of us in the middle of our careers. I wanted to create a space where we could talk openly about burnout, mental health, and the challenges of balancing our professional and personal lives. It was a journey that started as I began to grieve truly, and at times, not really know how to mourn the loss of a friend, colleague, my own burnout, and the system in which we practice.
Thus, The Worthy Physician was born. The name itself is a reminder—to myself and others—that our worth is not defined by our productivity, titles, or ability to push through adversity. Our human worth is inherent. As being born and being human, being created in the image of a higher power, we are worthy.
The blog and podcast became a way for me to process my own experiences and, more importantly, connect with others who might be feeling the same way. They are spaces for honest conversations, sharing stories, and exploring solutions.
Breaking the Silence
One of the core missions of The Worthy Physician is to break the culture of silence in medicine. For too long, we’ve operated under the assumption that vulnerability is a weakness and that asking for help is a sign of failure. But the truth is, vulnerability is a strength. It allows us to connect, empathize, and heal.
In the podcast, I’ve had the privilege of speaking with fellow physicians who have shared their journeys through burnout, loss, and recovery. Their stories are testaments to the resilience of the human spirit and remind us that we are not alone in our struggles. Remember, as physicians, we are some of the most resilient humans on the planet. The individual is not the problem.
Lessons from Loss
My friend’s death was a tragedy, but it also taught me some of the most important lessons of my life. It taught me the importance of checking in—not just with others, but with myself. It taught me that no one is immune to the pressures of this profession, no matter how strong or accomplished they may seem.
Most importantly, it taught me that change is possible. But change starts with us. It begins with acknowledging the problem, speaking up, and supporting one another.
Moving Forward
Starting The Worthy Physician has been one of my life’s most challenging and rewarding experiences. It’s forced me to confront my vulnerabilities, reflect on my values, and commit to a path of Growth and authenticity.
The journey is far from over. There’s still so much work to be done within myself, the medical community, and the broader systems that shape our profession. But I’m committed to it and grateful for the opportunity to walk it alongside others who understand the unique challenges we face as physicians.
A Message to Fellow Physicians
To my fellow physicians, especially those in the middle of their careers: You are not alone. Your struggles do not define you, and your worth is not tied to your productivity or ability to endure.
If you’re feeling burned out, if you’re questioning your path, if you’re grieving a loss—know that there is a way forward. It’s not always easy, and it often requires us to unlearn deeply ingrained beliefs about what it means to be a physician. But it’s worth it. You are worth it.
The Worthy Physician is here to remind you of that. It provides a space for connection, reflection, and growth. It reminds us all that there is hope, even in our darkest moments.
In Memory
As I continue this journey, I carry my friend’s memory. Her life and Legacy are constant reminders of why this work matters. It’s not just about preventing burnout or addressing mental health—it’s about creating a culture where we, as physicians, feel seen, heard, and valued.
To her and to all the physicians we’ve lost along the way: You are not forgotten. Your struggles were not in vain. They should have not happened, and the system can do better.
And to those of us who remain: Let’s honor their memory by taking care of ourselves and each other. Let’s build a future where no physician feels like they have to suffer in silence.
This is why I started The Worthy Physician. This is why I keep going. Looking forward, I am collaborating with other entities for exciting events for the listeners and community, as well as bringing on a co-host in the next couple of months! As physicians, we do matter– to our families, friends, patients, and each other. Until the moral injury, burnout, and physician suicide are a thing of the past, we’re not done! This is why, together, we can create a brighter, more compassionate future for ourselves and the next generation of physicians.
Originally Published on https://www.theworthyphysician.com/blog
