Men Are Just Happier People!
So, this is for all the women who have a sense of humor and to the men who
will enjoy reading it.
Men Are Just Happier People!
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What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.
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The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
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Chocolate is just another snack.
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You can never be pregnant.
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You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt
to a water park.
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Car mechanics tell you the truth.
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The world is your urinal.
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You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because
this one is just too icky.
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You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.
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Wrinkles add character.
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Wedding dress – $5,000. Wedding suit rental – $100.
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People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
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New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
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One mood all the time.
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Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
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You know stuff about tanks.
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A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
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You can open all your own jars.
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You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
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If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
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Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
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Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.
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You almost never have strap problems in public.
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You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
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Everything on your face stays its original color.
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The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
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You only have to shave your face and neck.
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You can play with toys all your life.
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One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons.
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You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
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You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket-knife.
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You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
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You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
NICKNAMES
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If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Kate, and Sarah.
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If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.
EATING OUT
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When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none
will actually admit they want change back.
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When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators or smart phones.
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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
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A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on
sale.
BATHROOMS
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A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
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The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of
these items.
ARGUMENTS
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A woman has the last word in any argument.
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Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
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A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
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A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
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A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
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A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
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A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
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Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
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Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
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Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and
hopes and dreams.
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A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
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A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering
the same thing!
Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/
