Recent Content
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/anneke-elmhirst/. Interested in the possibilities of polyamory? What are those possibilities? What can go wrong? Our guest in this episode…
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/anneke-elmhirst/. Interested in the possibilities of polyamory? What are those possibilities? What can go wrong? Our guest in this episode, Anneke Elmhirst, helps people explore those questions. Polyamorous herself, Anneke talks about how she works with people to help them discover their own path. We also talk with Anneke about her experiences as a behavioral analyst with neurodivergent kids, and why she ultimately decided to leave that field because she recognized her own moral and ethical standards weren’t consistent with that w…
Bruce Chalmer
September 13, 2024 
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/cant-be-intimate-and-freaked-out/. What single ability solves all relationship problems? What does that have to do with intimacy and coupl…
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/cant-be-intimate-and-freaked-out/. What single ability solves all relationship problems? What does that have to do with intimacy and couple relationships? And how does that relate to politics? In this episode, we (Bruce and Judy) reveal it all—an ability that anyone who’s listening to a podcast—that’s you!—already has. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue…
Bruce Chalmer
August 23, 2024 
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/joshua-coleman/. Are you estranged from a family member? About a quarter of Americans are. Maybe you’re cut off from a parent or adult c…
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/joshua-coleman/. Are you estranged from a family member? About a quarter of Americans are. Maybe you’re cut off from a parent or adult child or sibling. The one universal about estrangement is that it’s painful. And it’s on the rise. Our guest for this episode is Dr. Joshua Coleman. He’s been through it himself, and has become a world-class expert on the phenomenon of estrangement. We talk with Dr. Coleman about how estrangement happens, why it’s happening more frequently these days, and what you can do about it. Dr. Colem…
Bruce Chalmer
August 16, 2024 
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/paula-cope/. How can a sixteen-year-old manage to survive, and even thrive, after her mother abandoned her leaving no other adults to care…
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/paula-cope/. How can a sixteen-year-old manage to survive, and even thrive, after her mother abandoned her leaving no other adults to care for her? And can you forgive a mother who did that? Our guest in this episode, Paula Cope, shares her story with us. Warning—have tissues handy! Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Z…
Bruce Chalmer
August 9, 2024 
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/my-sister-stole-my-boyfriend/. Betrayal, cutoff, and decades of family drama. How would you handle it if your sister stole your boyfriend …
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/my-sister-stole-my-boyfriend/. Betrayal, cutoff, and decades of family drama. How would you handle it if your sister stole your boyfriend and then went on to marry him? Now it’s 30 years later, and you’ve been in therapy, and you see things a lot differently. You want to reconcile with your sister, but she’s having none of it. What do you do? Judy and I (Bruce) have very different gut feelings about how to handle this. What do you think? Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send u…
Bruce Chalmer
August 2, 2024 
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/susan-morgan-taylor/. Are you a woman in a couple, and your sexual desire seems to have vanished? Are you a man in a couple with one of th…
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/susan-morgan-taylor/. Are you a woman in a couple, and your sexual desire seems to have vanished? Are you a man in a couple with one of those women? What’s going on? What can you do about it? Our guest in this episode, Susan Morgan Taylor, specialized in helping couples dealing with this sort of desire discrepancy. And she learned how to help others by going through it herself. We talk about how she discovered her own keys to sexual awakening, and how she works with couples to help them find theirs. Susan’s websites are https://…
Bruce Chalmer
July 26, 2024 
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/my-wife-died-and-was-having-an-affair/. What if you found out your recently deceased wife had been having an affair for years? How can you…
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/my-wife-died-and-was-having-an-affair/. What if you found out your recently deceased wife had been having an affair for years? How can you handle the shock of betrayal? And what should you do about telling the adult kids or not? In this episode we talk about the letter we received from Les, whose wife of 45 years had died suddenly, leaving him to discover the affair she had been having with her high-school boyfriend. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can al…
Bruce Chalmer
July 19, 2024 
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/shelley-lewin/. Our guest for this episode, Shelley Lewin, was a successful international model when she realized that her life wasn’t w…
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/shelley-lewin/. Our guest for this episode, Shelley Lewin, was a successful international model when she realized that her life wasn’t working for her, especially when it came to relationships. So she embarked on a journey of personal growth and training which led to her becoming a relationship coach, offering help to individuals, couples, and organizations. And she’s written a book, Uncomplicated Love, to share what she’s learned. We talk about Shelley’s approach to helping people find and foster satisfying, healthy relatio…
Bruce Chalmer
July 12, 2024 
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/owen-marcus/. It turns out men and women are different. And therapy tends to be women’s territory, even with male therapists, as I (Bruc…
For the video of thi…
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/owen-marcus/. It turns out men and women are different. And therapy tends to be women’s territory, even with male therapists, as I (Bruce) can certainly attest: after all, it’s women who want to come to therapy, and men who usually resist. Our guest in this episode, Owen Marcus, has developed programs that provide the kind of environment that lets men feel safe enough to open up—which has great effects on their relationships with others, including the women in their lives. Owen’s website is https://meld.community/. Do you ha…
Bruce Chalmer
June 28, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/phyllis-leavitt/. How might the insights of psychology help heal our country? How does unhealed trauma lead to the polarization and discord we…
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/phyllis-leavitt/. How might the insights of psychology help heal our country? How does unhealed trauma lead to the polarization and discord we’re experiencing? Our guest in this episode, Phyllis Leavitt, has applied her knowledge and experience as a psychotherapist for three decades to those issues, and written a book, America in Therapy: A New Approach to Hope and Healing for a Nation in Crisis. Phyllis’s website is https://phyllisleavitt.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send …
Bruce Chalmer
June 21, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/sharon-costanzo/. When our guest in this episode, Sharon Costanzo, got married and had children, she encountered a common problem, no less vexi…
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/sharon-costanzo/. When our guest in this episode, Sharon Costanzo, got married and had children, she encountered a common problem, no less vexing for being so common: she found she was carrying a disproportionate load of household responsibilities even as she worked outside the home full-time. Her experience, often painful, of working through changes with her husband to create a more collaborative relationship gave her insights and skills that she now shares with her Coaching clients. Sharon’s website is https://www.respectedandconnect…
Bruce Chalmer
June 14, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/kristal-desantis/. I (Bruce) have often observed that men these days seem to be at a loss in knowing how to be men. The old default assumptions…
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/kristal-desantis/. I (Bruce) have often observed that men these days seem to be at a loss in knowing how to be men. The old default assumptions about how we’re supposed to show up in relationships, especially with women, seem not to work anymore. Our guest for this episode, Kristal DeSantis, is a therapist who specializes in helping men figure out how to navigate relationships. And she’s developed a model, called the STRONG model of Relational Therapy. We talk about her work, and her recent book, STRONG: A Relationship Field Guide fo…
Bruce Chalmer
June 7, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine-2/. We interviewed our guest in this episode, Artemisia de Vine, a few weeks ago in Episode 153 (this one is 162). Artemisia …
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine-2/. We interviewed our guest in this episode, Artemisia de Vine, a few weeks ago in Episode 153 (this one is 162). Artemisia is an expert on sexual fantasies, and we had a fascinating conversation about it. Recently Artemisia discovered that Rina Trevi, a podcaster and coach, had plagiarized her work, and Artemisia confronted her about it. What followed was inspiring to us, especially since Bruce’s book on betrayal and forgiveness is just about to be released. Artemisia and Rina appeared together on Rina’s podcast, …
Bruce Chalmer
May 31, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/the-f-word/. In this episode we talk about a short film, “The F-Word.” Besides being hilarious, this film touches on themes that often come…
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/the-f-word/. In this episode we talk about a short film, “The F-Word.” Besides being hilarious, this film touches on themes that often come up in couples work. What if parents differ about what constitutes appropriate conduct for their children? What if one parent thinks the other is doing something harmful to their children? We also talk about Bruce’s forthcoming book Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and s…
Bruce Chalmer
May 26, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/laurie-groh/. How can couples navigate conflicts and differences? What are some of the challenges couples face at different stages of life? Our…
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/laurie-groh/. How can couples navigate conflicts and differences? What are some of the challenges couples face at different stages of life? Our guest in this episode, Laurie Groh, applies her training from the Gottman Institute, Terry Real, Esther Perel, Harville Hendrix, and others to help couples heal. Laurie’s website is https://shoresidetherapies.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepa…
Bruce Chalmer
May 17, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/eric-fitzmedrud/. What leads someone to recognize that they are polyamorous? How can getting consent be sexy? How can men learn to “be a bett…
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/eric-fitzmedrud/. What leads someone to recognize that they are polyamorous? How can getting consent be sexy? How can men learn to “be a better asshole”? These are some of the topics we talk about in this episode with our guest, Dr. Eric FitzMedrud. His recent book is The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Eric’s website is https://drericfitz.com. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s ne…
Bruce Chalmer
May 10, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-rape/ . What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many …
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-rape/ . What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many people who are struggling with this question. In part, it depends on what you mean by “forgive.” Does forgiveness have to imply that you’ll try to restore your relationship? Or might you forgive someone, but still not trust them? Could you see forgiveness as getting the poison out of you? Ann Lamott famously noted that not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat…
Bruce Chalmer
May 3, 2024 
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness-its-almost-here/. Bruce’s book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, is g…
The video of this ep…
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness-its-almost-here/. Bruce’s book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, is getting closer to its release. In this episode we talk more about various kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponso…
Bruce Chalmer
April 19, 2024 
