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You've heard people say, "Good things come to those who wait." Most of us absorbed that lesson somewhere along the way — save the good stuff, delay the pleasure, wait until you've earned it. But my …

You've heard people …

You've heard people say, "Good things come to those who wait." Most of us absorbed that lesson somewhere along the way — save the good stuff, delay the pleasure, wait until you've earned it. But my guest today says that idea backfires. My guest is Ian Bogost, a contributing writer at The Atlantic and a professor at Washington University in St. Louis. His new book is The Small Stuff. Some of the things we discuss are: The three different types of contentment — and why we tend to overlook the most available one What the famous marshmallow test actually got wrong about delayed gratifica…

Have you ever been upset and had one person tell you to just sit with your feelings—while someone else insists you should snap out of it and take control? Which approach is right? The answer is that…

Have you ever been u…

Have you ever been upset and had one person tell you to just sit with your feelings—while someone else insists you should snap out of it and take control? Which approach is right? The answer is that it depends on the situation. In today's episode, I'll show you that the most important emotional strength skill is knowing which one the moment calls for. Some of the things I talk about are: Why "sit with it" and "change it" aren't actually contradictory—and the framework that ties them together. Why an emotion isn't positive or negative on its own, and what actually determines whether i…

Have you ever spent hours replaying a conversation in your head that didn't go well? Maybe you said something you wish you hadn't. Maybe someone made a comment you can't stop thinking about. But the …

Have you ever spent …

Have you ever spent hours replaying a conversation in your head that didn't go well? Maybe you said something you wish you hadn't. Maybe someone made a comment you can't stop thinking about. But the more you think about it, the worse you feel — and you can't seem to stop. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. My guest is Donna Jackson Nakazawa, an award-winning science journalist and author of nine books. Her new book is Mind Drama and she has uncovered some surprising strategies that can help you stop overthinking. Some of the things we discuss are: What's actually happening in yo…

Want more plays to help you stay mentally strong? Pick up a copy of ⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠. Have you ever tried a mental strength strategy that everyone swears by, and it didn't work for y…

Want more plays to h…

Want more plays to help you stay mentally strong? Pick up a copy of ⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠. Have you ever tried a mental strength strategy that everyone swears by, and it didn't work for you? Maybe you tried to meditate in the middle of a panic attack and felt worse, or started a gratitude journal while your life was falling apart and just ended up feeling guilty about your list. The same coping skills that saves you in one moment can backfire in another. Fortunately, you can sharpen your ability to reach for the right coping skill at the right time once you know how. Some of the…

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I should be over this by now"? Maybe an old fear or insecurity shows up, and instead of just feeling it, you feel bad about feeling that way. Most of us were …

Have you ever caught…

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I should be over this by now"? Maybe an old fear or insecurity shows up, and instead of just feeling it, you feel bad about feeling that way. Most of us were taught that hard feelings — shame, envy, anger, boredom — are problems to be solved or character flaws to fix. And when they don't go away, we pile on a second layer of distress. But my guest today says that's exactly where we go wrong. The goal isn't to get rid of hard feelings. It's to get more curious about them. My guest is Daniel Smith, a writer turned therapist whose new book is called H…

Want more plays to help you stay mentally strong? Pick up a copy of The Mental Strength Playbook. Have you ever felt stuck trying to solve a problem? Maybe you're trying to figure out how to attract m…

Want more plays to h…

Want more plays to help you stay mentally strong? Pick up a copy of The Mental Strength Playbook. Have you ever felt stuck trying to solve a problem? Maybe you're trying to figure out how to attract more customers, smooth things over with someone you Love, or finally dig out of debt—but you just can't figure out what to do? Well, sometimes pushing harder for an answer in the same direction is exactly what's keeping you stuck. And that's why brainstorming the worst ideas might be the key to getting unstuck. Some of the things I talk about are: The online jewelry store I built knowing noth…

Think about the last time you couldn't make up your mind about a big decision. Maybe you made a pro-and-con list, read every review, and talked it through with other people — and still couldn't deci…

Think about the last…

Think about the last time you couldn't make up your mind about a big decision. Maybe you made a pro-and-con list, read every review, and talked it through with other people — and still couldn't decide. We tell ourselves that just a little more information will finally bring the certainty we need to choose. But my guest today says more research can fuel your Anxiety and the certainty we're chasing doesn't actually exist. If you're indecisive, you overthink every choice, or you freeze up for fear of making the wrong decision, this episode is for you. My guest is Simone Stolzoff, a journalist a…

Want more mental strength plays? Pick up a copy of ⁠⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠⁠. Have you ever had one of those days—or one of those weeks—where everything seems to be going wrong, and…

Want more mental str…

Want more mental strength plays? Pick up a copy of ⁠⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠⁠. Have you ever had one of those days—or one of those weeks—where everything seems to be going wrong, and no matter what you try, you just feel discouraged? Fortunately, there's a play you can run when you don't know what to do. And on the surface, it seems a little backward. In today's episode, I'm sharing a play that sounds completely backward. But it's one of the best ways to get out of your head and prove to yourself that you have some power, even during your worst days. Some of the things I ta…

Think about the last time you tried to work on yourself. Chances are you started with a list of everything that's wrong with you — what you don't like, what you should be doing, and what you want to…

Think about the last…

Think about the last time you tried to work on yourself. Chances are you started with a list of everything that's wrong with you — what you don't like, what you should be doing, and what you want to "fix." But what if thinking about yourself as "broken" is the thing that's keeping you stuck? My guest today is Dr. Paul Conti, a Harvard- and Stanford-trained psychiatrist who runs the group practice Pacific Premier Group. He started out in the business world, but after losing his brother to suicide, he turned to Mental Health full-time. He's the author of Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic and his…

Want more mental strength plays? Pick up a copy of ⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠. Have you ever had a big moment coming up, like a presentation or an interview, and spent the final few minutes fr…

Want more mental str…

Want more mental strength plays? Pick up a copy of ⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠. Have you ever had a big moment coming up, like a presentation or an interview, and spent the final few minutes frantically cramming? We often tell ourselves if we just review our notes one more time, we'll feel confident when we walk in. But research shows that last-minute cramming is probably making you perform worse, not better. And if you're a crammer like I am, I have good news—there's a much better way to spend those final few minutes before a high-pressure moment. Some of the things I talk about ar…

Have you ever told someone, "I'm not an optimist, I'm a realist" because the whole "good vibes only" thing seems irritating, and you don't want to set yourself up for disappointment? A lot of us brace…

Have you ever told s…

Have you ever told someone, "I'm not an optimist, I'm a realist" because the whole "good vibes only" thing seems irritating, and you don't want to set yourself up for disappointment? A lot of us brace for the worst on purpose. We think if we expect the worst, we'll either be right or pleasantly surprised. But bracing for disaster can be bad for you Health. My guest today is Dr. Deepika Chopra — a clinical health psychologist known as The Optimism Doctor® and the author of The Power of Real Optimism. Some of the things we discuss are: What real optimism actually looks like in the middle …

Want more mental strength plays? Pick up a copy of The Mental Strength Playbook. Do you procrastinate more than you'd like to admit? You've probably told yourself the problem is willpower, motivation…

Want more mental str…

Want more mental strength plays? Pick up a copy of The Mental Strength Playbook. Do you procrastinate more than you'd like to admit? You've probably told yourself the problem is willpower, motivation, or self-discipline. But, procrastination usually has nothing to do with those things. It has to do with trying to avoid an uncomfortable feeling. Fortunately, there's a simple mental strength play that can help you start taking action fast. And the best news is, in less than a minute you can get yourself working on that project. It's backed by science and it can help you get moving on those ta…