Originally Published on https://eightdaystoamish.blogspot.com/

 • It should come as no surprise but, given our sedentary natures, most standstills have become sit stills.• The exclamation point is to punctuation what the erection is to the male ego. The more you expose it, the more likely it begins to bore those it was intended to thrill.• Told the kids one of […]

 (1009 words)This is the kind of reckless confession that in these sensitive times  is bound to backfire, but here goes: I’m at heart a straight man who detests seeing lots of fruits in his bar.Bear with me.See, I’m the kind of guy that spends a lot of time sitting in bars wondering why I spend […]

(489 words) What if Jesus returns today at about 3 p.m.? I’m hoping He does and I hope He decides to materialize right here in my office. Why here? I suspect The Lord is going to need a stiff drink or two, and The Tin Lizzy is a great place to initiate some introductory philosophizing. […]

 Despite near zero evidence anyone reads these here, yet again, are my bestest, most razzle-dazzlest tweets of the month. Enjoy! Or don’t …• It must have been difficult being married to Plato. As a big shot Greek philosopher, he must’ve attracted his share of female admirers. But if she ever busted him in a compromising […]

 (697 words)My first profanity of the day came roaring out of my mouth at about 5:30 a.m.I was awakened by a stinkbug in my left ear. And when I say “in my left ear,” I’m not exaggerating.It was deep in there. Like a half-inch from the brain. It was in where you’d expect a common […]

 (648 words)Just learned my older brother has been in and out of the hospital all week with severe abdominal pains that have, thus far, evaded diagnosis. We spoke, I empathized, and told him I’d pray for him.And as I said so, it dawned on me that lately I’ve been doing a helluva lot of praying.I […]

 (708 words)While global conflict experts are wondering how long Ukraine can hold on, if the Russian economy will collapse, and if nuclear nightmares are in play, I keep thinking of something more intimate.That is, “What does Mrs. Putin have to say about all this?”In mankind’s long and bloody history of pointless wars, this one strikes […]

 • Anytime I hear someone in charge say it’s time to “re-think” a misguided decision, I automatically assume zero actual thought went into the original decision.• Being a scholarly rabbit must be one of nature’s most frustrating circumstances. Even your very best ideas are dismissed as hare-brained.• Nutritionists ought to have a term for the […]