• Val was rattled this week after seeing a picture of her late mother from when she was 4 years younger than Val is today. Her mother appeared much older. Told Val she shouldn’t be surprised. She works very hard at eating right and remaining fit, has a natural beauty and, in fact, looks […]
(Masking tape above shoes shows where stolen flag was)(791 words) The crack team of amateur sleuths I brought in to solve the crime found a glaring breech that they said practically invited theft. It was a mere 6 inches. That was all the crook needed to sashay into my office and shatter a sense of […]
(829 words)Because I sense the threshold of interest has been breached, I’m going to respond to a question I have no business responding to. But people keep asking.The question is: What would Arnold Palmer do if the bloodthirsty Saudi Arabian sheiks offered him, say, $200 million — what they’re paying Phil “Lefty” Mickelson — to […]
(624 words)My wife of 25 years and I are in the habit of concluding most every day by saying, “I love you.” We both say it in a whisper and we both know hearing “I love you,” means it’s time to shut the hell up and try to get some sleep.Simple math says we’ve said, “I […]
Originally Published on https://eightdaystoamish.blogspot.com/
• It should come as no surprise but, given our sedentary natures, most standstills have become sit stills.• The exclamation point is to punctuation what the erection is to the male ego. The more you expose it, the more likely it begins to bore those it was intended to thrill.• Told the kids one of […]
(1009 words)This is the kind of reckless confession that in these sensitive times is bound to backfire, but here goes: I’m at heart a straight man who detests seeing lots of fruits in his bar.Bear with me.See, I’m the kind of guy that spends a lot of time sitting in bars wondering why I spend […]
(489 words) What if Jesus returns today at about 3 p.m.? I’m hoping He does and I hope He decides to materialize right here in my office. Why here? I suspect The Lord is going to need a stiff drink or two, and The Tin Lizzy is a great place to initiate some introductory philosophizing. […]
Despite near zero evidence anyone reads these here, yet again, are my bestest, most razzle-dazzlest tweets of the month. Enjoy! Or don’t …• It must have been difficult being married to Plato. As a big shot Greek philosopher, he must’ve attracted his share of female admirers. But if she ever busted him in a compromising […]
(697 words)My first profanity of the day came roaring out of my mouth at about 5:30 a.m.I was awakened by a stinkbug in my left ear. And when I say “in my left ear,” I’m not exaggerating.It was deep in there. Like a half-inch from the brain. It was in where you’d expect a common […]
