In our grief, holiday celebrations tend to reopen the grief-wound. We tend to play the “elephant in the room” game at the mention of our missing loved one. “If we don’t talk about how sad we are feeling we won’t spoil the day for others” is a common belief we carry into gatherings. The fallacy […]
IF I WERE ——a funeral home I would give end of life education materials to all who are making prearrangement funerals plans. It is an opportunity to provide education in an area that will be needed someday. IF I WERE ——an attorney I would give my clients educational material on writing advance directives, so they […]
When is the appropriate time to make the change from being “full code” to being “no code”? Full code means that when your heart stops, and you have died, medical professionals or paramedics will do everything medically possible to try and restart your heart. No code means that if your heart stops, medical professionals or […]
We tend to be unprepared for dying and death and we are unprepared for grief. Most of us don’t understand mourning, its natural flow, all the feelings and emotions that grieving presents. We are numb, we are screaming inside, we are confused, we are lost, we are alone, isolated, angry, afraid—all a normal parts of […]
Dear Barbara, my mother suffered from dementia. She passed away in 2019. I was at her side and saw her take her last breath. Does a person with dementia know that she is dying? Neither of my sisters made it over before she died but I believe that she waited for them until the last […]
Dementia causing illnesses, by whatever name we classify them, are becoming more and more prominent. Dementia, and how to care for people with it, has become a big healthcare issue. Dear Barbara, my mother has FTD dementia. She is very vacant and stares through us all. She is unable to communicate, her muscles are contracting. […]
Dear Barbara, Some seniors seem to respond well to baby-talk. Some absolutely hate it. How do you know when to use baby-talk and when not to? When to use baby-talk while providing adult end of life care? NEVER. I find it hard to imagine anyone “liking” to be talked to as if they were a […]
I believe we have the right to be told about our disease, its progression, the options of care, and the probability of being cured vs. not cured. If it is not curable, what kind of quality can be expected? Being told we can’t be fixed gives us an opportunity to live until we die and […]
Dear Barbara, My husband was diagnosed with dementia.He has been under hospice care for over 2 years in a residential care home and has now entered EOL stage. Our hospice “service” in AZ focus solely on providing for the needs of my husband so I’m looking for resources to support me and our son. I […]
Dear Barbara, I have heard on a recent podcast that you did not have the best relationship with your mom. I would love to learn more about the strategies you used to keep grounded in the present, that allowed you to do the best caregiving of self plus your family unit plus your mom, minimizing […]
