By Jerry Zezima As a man who dozes off at the drop of a hat, even though I don’t wear one, I find it hard to wake up and smell the coffee. The problem is that I can’t smell the coffee until I wake up. And I can’t wake up until I have coffee. If […]
By Jerry Zezima If it weren’t for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for me. It also would be valances, drapes, shutters and other coverings for windows that I haven’t washed in two years, which is why my wife, Sue, has been throwing shades at me. We recently got new blinds in the family room […]
If you’ve ever wanted to know what it feels like to have your brain turned into a warm bowl of oatmeal while sitting in a vibrating velvet chair, I have found your soundtrack. I’m talking about “Already Gone” by Wooden Shjips (yes, with a ‘j’—because regular ‘i’s are too high-energy for this level of chill). Most bands feel the […]
By Jerry Zezima Because I am a geezer with a heart condition, I’m not ashamed to admit that when it comes to shoveling snow, I am also a wuss, which stands for “wait until spring starts.” To compound matters, I was born during a blizzard and have been perpetrating snow jobs ever since. So in […]
By Jerry Zezima I wouldn’t be barking up the wrong clothes tree to say that my younger daughter’s dog has a better wardrobe than I do. So do both of my barber’s dogs. It’s enough to make a grown human howl. I became aware of this canine clothing conspiracy about a year ago when my […]
By Jerry Zezima I wouldn’t be barking up the wrong clothes tree to say that my younger daughter’s dog has a better wardrobe than I do. So do both of my barber’s dogs. It’s enough to make a grown human howl. I became aware of this canine clothing conspiracy about a year ago when my […]
Friends, Enemies, and the Psychological Warfare of the “Frenemy” Life used to be simple. You had people you liked (Friends) and people you’d fight in a parking lot (Enemies). But then, society invented the “Frenemy,” and suddenly we all need a degree in international diplomacy just to go to brunch. 1. Friends: The “I’ll Delete […]
A lesson about public behavior. A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I went to a movie at the Jacob Burns Film Center. Our film was showing in one of the smaller theaters, and by the time we arrived, seating options were limited. As I walked toward the front of the theater, several of […]
By Jerry Zezima I used to think, because I’m a kid at heart, and even more so at head, that I have the maturity level of a 9-year-old. But I don’t think so anymore because a 9-year-old, who happens to be one of my grandchildren, thinks my jokes are stupid. This was made abundantly clear […]
REMEMBER REMEMBERING? Smart Again is a brain supplement that is made from all un-natural ingredients that will help reduce your cognitive decline and heighten your mental acuity in just a few minutes.Unbelievable! That’s what I thought. But, after taking Smart Again I’ve stopped yelling at my neighbors kids, I can find my car in the […]
