“You have to be ready to roll with it.” – Alfredo Botello
Stepping into the role of caregiver isn’t always a choice, it’s a journey filled with love, loss, and unexpected lessons. J.J. and Natalie welcome novelist and screenwriter, Alfredo Botello to open up about caring for his mother after his stepfather’s passing and navigating the challenges of Alzheimer’s and assisted living.
🔹 Key Takeaways:
✅ The emotional toll of caregiving & shifting family dynamics
✅ Misconceptions about caregiving & lessons learned along the way
✅ The power of empathy, connection & vulnerability
✅ Why self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary
✅ Finding joy in shared moments, even in difficult times
Alfredo Botello is a novelist and screenwriter who has worked on projects ranging from the indie Sundance Global Short La Revolucion De Iguodala to the studio tent pole Fast and Furious 9. His debut novel, 180 Days, has garnered multiple literary awards. His second novel, Spin Cycle: Notes From A Reluctant Caregiver, was published by Koehler Books on 1.14.25. He is a Fulbright Fellow in architecture and a Nicholl Fellow in screenwriting. In addition to screenplays and the novels, he contributed a chapter to the Amazon bestseller Wellness Through Words, and has written for The San Francisco Examiner Magazine, Metropolis, Diablo, Surface, The Utne Reader, Style, The East Bay Express, and The Monthly. Botello co-owns a cocktail bar in downtown Oakland, Little Bird Bar, and at home dotes on his two Corgis, George and Dotty.
Social Media:
Website: alfredobotello.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/alfredo_botello_author/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551868357118
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alfredo-botello-aa16aaa0/
X: https://x.com/alfredobotello
💡 Whether you’re a caregiver or know someone who is, this honest conversation offers insights, support & encouragement for the journey.
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#Caregiving #Alzheimers #CaregiverSupport #FamilyCaregiving #SelfCare #ElderCare #Compassion
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Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. She’s the peacekeeper. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. She’s the athlete. The rebel responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the bus stop.
After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing much time on caring for the kids.
The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years.
In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Our rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan.
Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey.
In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope.