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Burnout or moral injury is not the fault of the clinician. We, those in healthcare, work in a system that put profit before the health of individuals. I had hit a point in life where I sincerely reviewed what was my purpose?

In 2021, I wrote a passage that was very profound re-reading it in 2023. It was during a time when I found it very difficult—it was more of an existential crisis. I had no homicidal or suicidal thoughts. It was more of, “What am I doing with my life?”

“Today I was pulled back under the waters of what may have been dismay. I am not sure how to label what I felt, but I labeled it as best as I could.

I paused and paused again.

I pushed the proverbial pause button. I took a deep breath and kept driving. Kept driving forward.

Imagery wise, I was able to kick it…whatever was pulling me away…whatever was pulling me down, whatever was weighing me down.

Keeping my head above water. Trying not to panic.

I felt anger.

I thought, why am I feeling this way?

But I realized that I was triggered. But I was mindful, about how to identify it. I felt the feelings.

But being able to channel them aside…in order to continue on with the day.

I acknowledge I am human.

I acknowledge that I need to feel my feelings, and in doing so without substance, I have remembered the past, and understood the complexity.

I am okay to redefine boundaries. They will change as life changes, and as I change.

Points:

1. Pause and honor your feelings.

2. You are human. Negative feelings are normal.

3. Keep living life. If you need help, seek help.

4. Boundaries are important. They are necessary.

5. Purpose is necessary. You have to know yourself in order to know what you need, and your purpose.

Originally Published on https://www.theworthyphysician.com/blog

Sapna Shah-Haque Internal Medicine Physician

Dr. Sapna Shah-Haque, MD is a board certified Internal Medicine physician. She was born and raised in Kansas, and attended medical school at the University of Kansas [KU] School of Medicine. She completed her Internal Medicine residency at KU-Wichita as well. After experiencing burnout herself, and watching other physician colleagues burn out, it became a passion of hers to look into different aspects of burnout. While the system does need to change, as it is broken, this podcast is a way to reach physicians and possibly shed light on what is not an isolated situation.