Before we dive into this juicy question I’ve been looping on, check out my convo on TOO MUCH with Denise Love Hewitt.
Big questions unearth big transitions.
Transitions require the heavy lifting from the inside out.
Being present is the wellness bailiwick. It is important to stay in the moment as we multitask our way to Burnout, wishing the days away.
This quote from a female CEO after her year sabbatical gave me the momentary reframe I’ve been dancing around this week. Kate Johnson, who counts Brene Brown as a friend, looked at her Anxiety and lack of presence in her personal life as a reason to take a break.
Being known as a people person at work fills the bucket for colleagues, an outpouring of advice creates an ecosystem of kindness often missed.
Kate Johnson, CEO of Lumen Technologies shared this question her life coach gave her to work through during her sabbatical. “I want you to ask your husband, your children, and your friends what it was like to be with you for the past 20 years. Then I want you to ask them what they would like to see you be like to be with for the next 20?”
The Fortune interview summaries her kids’ commentary on her constant anxiety and inability to take a breath. Kate’s turnaround story of Lumen begins and ends with her people-stories. Yet at home, she was unable to detach from work Stress, ever.
I can relate to the anxiety faucet being on at all times. Accomplishing lengthy to-do lists got me ‘straight As’ at work, but what about at home? During the week, my mentees got the best of me, access to me at all hours.
Mornings, evenings and weekends, I was less invested in my Family’s meals, kids activities, projects or house upgrades. My quality time consisted of snarky sarcasm, barking at my kids, snapping at my parents or my husband.
I didn’t know who I was, and it felt careless to keep acting that way. I had no patience for those who really mattered.
If I had asked my family how they want me to see me live over the next 20 years, they would say, calm cool and collected. My focus has been on the outer ring of friends and colleagues, not myself or my family.
Turning towards a feeling rather than a perception can be difficult after eons of programming to act, look, perform at a top level.
A personal, inward focus is the best self care, taking a deep look at changing current behaviors.
Where do I want to be engaged? (What part of my life- home, work, a project, myself)
How can I embody what my heart feels?
How can I start softely and show myself true love (stop with the excuses!)?
Who is truly most important that I have not been showing up in the way I feel compelled to?
Is there someone who I’m taking for granted?
In twenty years, what experiences do I want to have with others?
If I can be labeled as one emotion or behavior, what will that be? (ideas: Fun, kind, loving, generous, funny, smart, present)
What behaviors, feelings do I want to stop? What am I doing to myself that is toxic?
These answers are likely hard to stomach but the only way out is through.
Next week I’ll drop how to do take these prompts and embody the person you want to be in the next 20 years. Carving out time to reset is a long term process after our nervous system has been through the ringer.
I’m committed to helping women move into their soul’s truth, purpose and stand on their own at every stage.
How I work, my process and find a few ways to connect here.
