Are you suffering from chronic interruptoritis?

Interruptoritis is a state of being when you find your self being interrupted on a regular basis by another human and are unable to express ourselves.

I want to use this post to reflect or complain about

1.  our cultural penchant for interrupting others when we are having conversations.  At this point in my post, it’s important that I clarify that I am referring to Americans, the USA aka the humans who reside below the 49^th Parallel from sea to shining sea.

• And no.  I did not forget about Canadians and am writing this post with the knowledge I learned from my nuns at St. Nicholas of Tolentine Grade School in Queens, New York that Canada is a different and separate country AND has a different communication style. I will be addressing Canadians further down for exceptionally good reasons.

Over the last few decades, we have witnessed countless T.V, radio and social media interviews where the hosts and guest talk over each other, interrupt each other not once but multiple times. They not only failed to listen, exchange perspectives and gain context – they modeled behavior that has influenced every generational cohort that has followed.

No one has been waiting their turn, raising their hand, or stepping aside to hear another voice besides their own.  The participants (including the hosts in too many cases) have failed to learn to pause, appreciate the process and even take breadth between running commentaries.

As a result, the speaker’s context is not learned or shared. This leaves the listener and participant having to listen to diatribes versus thoughtful sharing of facts with real data and examples that can be verified and substantiated. Both sides of the conversation need to Exercise some semblance of control

It’s help for a third party to help facilitate the conversation and work with a specific goal – People who are heard, seen and listened will be more likely to exchange the same courtesy when it’s the other party’s turn to talk.

Right about now, you might be asking yourself “Did she forget about the Canadians?”  No – I did not.  See a long time ago, in a land called my childhood and mid adult years I traveled Canada on multiple occasions. During my trips I learned key facts –  a summer day at a beach in #Chicoutimi bears no resemblance to the rotisserie experience sunbathing at Jones Beach. I also had a greater appreciation for #poutine and their robust fur trade history when my husband and I traveled to Quebec City for New Years Eve. When I glanced out of my window seat in the plane and noticed that that St. Lawrence Seaway was completely frozen. I suddenly understood my former boss’s (Aziz Choudry) snarky comments when I departed for my holiday “Fat freezes.” *  While I looked chic at midnight, my week wardrobe honored my babushka grandmother during for my entire stay. * It was a different time.

However I learned something valuable during these visits that shared with godson when he was preparing to attend the Glenn Gould School(Music Conservatory) l in Toronto.  I recommended that he spend some time watching news commentary programs so he could witness an incredible phenomenon.

Canadians let others speak.

I am going to write this again – Canadians let others speak and actually listen to what the other person is saying before they open their mouth. And furthermore, they remember what was said. Incredible.

Simple. But not so simple.  You see their constitution includes the sentiments “Peace, Order and Good Government.”

So, you go. Since we are middle of negotiating our trade agreements and our tariffs, perhaps we can include this valuable commodity in the mix – Civil discourse, respect, and LISTENING.

But what do I know – I’m just a gal from Queens.

If you would like to learn more about interruptis and the art of listening where I have included actual, scientific research about what happens to us when the listening stops and interruptions runs rampant.

In closing – remember what the nuns would say to my class when we were struggling with a concept.

“Study and practice make perfect- It’s not rocket science.

Why do people interrupt each other?

*

People interrupt for assorted reasons, including a desire to control the conversation, express enthusiasm, or a need to quickly share a thought or idea, sometimes stemming from impatience or difficulty with social cues. 

Here’s a more detailed breakdown of the potential reasons:

Psychological and Behavioral Factors:

• Desire for Control:

Interrupting can be a way to take control of the conversation and steer it in a different direction. 

• Enthusiasm and Impatience:

Some people interrupt because they are eager to share their thoughts or ideas and may become impatient with the flow of the conversation. 

• Social Cues and Listening Skills:

Some individuals may struggle with social cues, leading them to interrupt at inappropriate times or struggle to understand when it’s their turn to speak. 

• Racing Thoughts and ADHD:

People with ADHD or those who have racing thoughts may find it difficult to hold back their thoughts and ideas, leading to interruptions. 

• Dominance and Assertiveness:

In some cases, interrupting can be a way to assert dominance or dominance in a conversation. 

• Lack of Listening Skills:

Some people may not be actively listening to the speaker, and instead, are already formulating their response, leading to interruptions. 

• Desire to be Right or Disagree:

Some people may interrupt to quickly disagree or express their opinion, rather than listening to the speaker’s perspective. 

Situational Factors:

• Dynamic Conversations:

Some people find conversations more engaging when they move quickly and people talk over each other. 

• Important Points:

People may interrupt to get across a point that they feel is important. 

• New Ideas:

People may interrupt with a new idea or what they see as an exciting contribution to the discussion. 

• Time Pressure:

In some situations, people may interrupt due to time constraints or a need to move the conversation along. 

• Long-windedness:

Sometimes, people interrupt because they feel the speaker is taking too long to get to the point. 

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/5-ways-to-shut-up-a-chronic-interrupter

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Julienne Ryan Humorist, Speaker, Trainer, Facilitator, Coach

Julienne B. Ryan began her professional career at age five when she did TV commercials and learned important things like “the teamsters always eat first,” her social security number and how to endorse checks for bank deposit.

Ryan studied psychology in college because she wanted to understand humans. She conducted her “field work” in a variety of roles, hearing the phrases “merger synergies, reorganizations, downsizing and rightsizing for change” more times than she cares to mention.

Later she enrolled in an Ivy League graduate school where she paid oodles of money to validate her prior on-the-job learning experiences. However, she did learn to name drop up-to-date theories and trendy psychologists with alarming ease.

Ryan evolved into working in “Talent Management,” a fancy way of saying “try to find people and keep them moderately happy.” With inadequate budgets and staff allocations, she had to find creative ways to encourage her staff to work effectively. These ranged from begging and borrowing resources, improvising childcare, telling stories and even giving snacks as rewards. She tried to convince herself that working a bazillion hours and “multi-tasking” equaled achievement.

Her work took place in cubicles, conference rooms or, with luck, in offices with a door. Occasionally she would make the time to emerge from her allotted real estate to really talk to people. Ryan learned something transformative in the process:

Yes, she was effective. But not because she used fancy theories – or gave great snacks. Ryan’s success, her staff believed, was a result of her uncanny knack for weaving storytelling with humor to motivate and encourage them. Crucially, they encouraged Ryan to de-emphasize “that normal HR stuff” and focus on bringing her unique storytelling skills to a broader stage.

Thanks to them, Ryan continues to collect, connect and tell stories in her work helping people find their “true selves in the world of work.

She is the author of the humorous, all true "The Learned It In Queens Communications Playbook - Winning Against Distraction!".that now includes a workbook and is available at booksellers across the globe..

She is a guest contributor to The Procurement Foundry, LifeBlood, and the global storytelling community.

Certifications include
Accumatch (BI) Behavior Intelligence
Narativ Applied Storytelling Methodologies
Collective Brains – Mentorship Methodologies