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TOXIC

How often do you hear someone labeled as toxic?  Our world has chosen to cling to that description of behavior.  What I find fascinating is that it is often used when someone simply refuses to think as we do: they might be challenging,

frustrating,

or problematic.  But that is a far cry from toxic. 

 

Toxic means it is deadly or permanently or severely destructive.

 

In Buddhism, any place of pain is seen as a cry for love.  The Cancer, the injury, the boil are wanting to be recognized, heard, and loved.  There is an Exercise where cancer patients journal with their cancer.  Asking why it’s here, what it is  teaching them.  The cancer isn’t trying to cause harm.  It just wants to exist.   Living with becomes the focus.   In this view, someone who appears toxic, needs love.  They need to be heard and recognized.

 

Hate never lessens hate.

Only love does that.

 

If we choose to embrace this, we have an amazing amount of power to help those struggling, hurting, including ourselves.  We all need love. And if we choose, we all can offer ours.

And isn’t that why we are here? To help others in their lives in ways they aren’t yet able to do so on their own?

What is it you need to say?  Am I willing to be here, present, listening to you and your beautiful beliefs, recognizing that we are different?

What is it you are wanting?  Will I care about your needs and try to help you?

 

Is there room for both of us here?

 

Trees and flowers learn to share space without destroying the other.   Yes, I will impact you, but do I need to destroy you or hate you?

 

I hope not.  I saw an amazing adaptation of this in my yard.  Look at how miraculously these flowers grew through each other.

 

Isn’t this a beautiful image for all of us?

 

How may I support you in your growth?

 

All my love!

 

 

Dr. Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT helps people recognize the power of communication.  It is one of our most important skills that we have, and yet we don’t consider our understanding, approach, belief, and therefore, miss our possibilities.  Living with a paranoid schizophrenic mother gave Dr. Heather a unique and powerful awareness that no one has the same reality, though we believe we do.  Utilizing this revolutionary awareness has allowed her to transform communication within self and within all other types of relationship.  This is the hidden key to acceptance.  And this is her mission to share.

As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy.  She is a TedX Speaker and Keynote Speaker. Her couple’s communication book will be out 1/24. She is published in hundreds of journals, has an active YouTube channel, has been featured on ABC-7 news, was the relationship expert on KDOC Daybreak OC, and is published in Inc., Toronto Sun, Thriving Family Magazine,  Light + Life, BRAINZ, Scary Mommy, and Psychology Today.  She is a regular guest blogger for both Links for Shrinks and for Marriage Friendly Therapists. She offers a weekly newsletter packed with tips and techniques to improve relationships and has monthly workshops! Simply go to her website!
https://www.drheatherbrowne.com/

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