The Human Side of Leadership: Carrying the Weight of Hard Decisions
Leadership is rarely as straightforward as we imagine it to be. Among the countless decisions we make, some weigh far heavier than others. These are the decisions that define not only our leadership but also the culture and direction of our schools. One such moment in my own journey continues to resonate with me.
I remember a time when I had to make the difficult decision to remove someone from their position. This individual’s work had become self-serving, and, more alarmingly, their choices were putting students in harm’s way. Toward the end of the brief conversation when I informed him we were relieving him of his duties, he asked me a question I’ll never forget: “Do you think I’m bad for kids?” I swallowed hard, looked him in the eyes, and said, “Yes, unfortunately, I do.”
Those words were among the hardest I’ve ever spoken, but they were necessary. Leadership often requires us to prioritize the needs of the many over the comfort of the few. In that moment, it wasn’t about personal feelings or avoiding conflict—it was about protecting students and upholding the core values of our school.
This week, I worked with one of the schools I support as they faced a similarly challenging situation. The leadership team made the difficult decision to relieve a head coach of their duties. As with any personnel decision, there was criticism. While the team handled it well, I could see the toll it was taking on one particular team member. It was their first time going through such an experience, and the weight of it was evident. At one point, during a quiet conversation, I saw the exhaustion in their eyes—the kind of weariness that comes from managing the emotional and professional implications of such a decision 24 hours a day for weeks.
This moment reminded me just how much leaders carry. It’s easy for critics and even supporters to overlook the person behind the title—the human being who must wrestle with the emotional impact of their choices. For the individual making the decision, the burden is deeply personal. They must reconcile the immediate pain with the long-term vision for their school.
This recent experience underscored a lesson I’ve learned time and again: the best decisions are made with Clarity and alignment to our core values and vision. The decision to remove the coach, like so many others, wasn’t made lightly. It was rooted in a belief about the school’s culture and the long-range vision of where the community can and should be. As leaders, we must always ask ourselves: Does this decision reflect our values? Does it move us closer to our vision for the school?
Acknowledging the emotional toll of these decisions is crucial. As leaders, we must allow ourselves the space to feel, reflect, and process. This isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a reminder that we care deeply about the people and communities we serve. It’s also important to step back, “get on the balcony,” and remember that the decision is about what is best for the school community. Even when the right choice is difficult, it’s the one that aligns with our values and benefits the school in the long run.
To all the school and district leaders out there: you are not alone in facing these tough moments. Take the time to reflect on your feelings, lean into your vision, and trust that making the hard call is part of leading with purpose. Surround yourself with a team that supports you and shares your commitment to the school’s mission.
Leadership isn’t about avoiding hard choices—it’s about making the right ones, even when they’re difficult. So, as you navigate these challenges, remember your why. Anchor yourself in your core values, and know that by staying true to them, you’re building a culture and future your school deserves.
