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Barbara Karnes

Adjusting After Our Person Has Died

We think of grief as mourning, of our emotional reaction to a loss. The tears, the “I miss her so much,” the sadness she is no longer with you. Grief is sadness. For some, it may be a relief that someone or something is no longer a part of our life.  We don’t just grieve […]

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Tomorrow I Will Make my Wishes Known, but not Today

We talk about a Durable Medical Power of Attorney and how important it is to make our end of life wishes known. If we don’t legally make our wishes known in writing and generally notarized, healthcare professionals will make those decisions for us.  Those decisions will be to try to start our heart when it […]

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Six Months After My Husband Died

It has been almost six months since my husband of 62 years died. As an end of life educator I have taught about loss and grief, and even written a booklet about it. BUT what I didn’t really understand were the emotional thoughts and feelings of grief. I couldn’t and didn’t understand because I had […]

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How the Body Prepares to Die

If you look at a person from a healthy perspective you see the need for food, sleep, and socialization. We eat to live. Sleep to revitalize. Interact with others for stimulation.  If the body is preparing to die, the reverse is the norm. We gradually stop eating. We begin sleeping more. We begin withdrawing from […]

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Can We Revive the Essence of Hospice?

Dear Barbara,  What suggestions do you have in overcoming the changes we see in hospice and healthcare today? It doesn’t look like it did 20 years ago. How do we maintain balance while keeping patients centered?  Hospice originated outside of the medical model. It met needs the medical establishment did not. Gradually, ever so slowly, […]

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It’s Called “Beyond Burnout”

Dear Barbara, We have heard the terms “compassion fatigue” and “caregiver burnout.” Today, after covid, it is being called “beyond burnout.” What are your thoughts about this? Doesn’t it feel like the world has sped up? Everything is so intense these days. That energy affects us all on many levels. Our minds and our feelings […]

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Another Aspect of Grief That I Didn’t Know Until Now

Being in a relationship is about sharing and compromise. It is “let US do this, what do YOU think?” When a person is alone, not in a relationship, they can do what they want; there is no sharing or compromise. I hadn’t thought of that before because I didn’t have to. Now that I am […]

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