Dying is not like it is in the movies. There are generally no important words or messages given followed by breathing peacefully stopping. Instead there are strange sounds, messy bodily functions such as peeing, pooping, and spitting as well as aimless movements of hands, arms, and general restlessness. The dying person is like a woman […]
A hospice nurse asked if we, the medical caregivers, should be taking scheduled or frequent blood pressures when caring for someone whose end of life is approaching. That question made me think about how tuned into medical procedures we healthcare workers are. Blood pressures, lab work, pulse, respirations, and temperature — all routinely taken and […]
Relationships are challenging. We don’t always get from them what we want or need. As death comes, the yearning for what we didn’t get or have with this person increases. When I was caring for my mother in the months before she died, I realized all the things I wanted from her and never had. […]
We health workers feel we have to do something. We have to take blood pressure, pulse, temperature, check peeing and pooping, and do assessments. With approaching death, it isn’t so much doing something as it is just being there. Emotional support, guidance for caregivers, and listening are our best tools. Addressing humanity is end of […]
September 18th is the two year marker of my husband’s death. Do I say anniversary? It sounds rather celebratory to use that word. Well — I guess it is a bit of a celebration in that I’m doing very well. After 65 years of having Jack in my life, I can say I am doing […]
Grief affects us all in one way or another — the loss of a job, the loss of a friend, of a relationship, a physical death. We all carry the scars of grieving. As we travel this road of living, our life will never be the same following any of the many deaths we experience. […]
We often don’t see what we don’t want to see. When it comes to acknowledging the end of life’s approach, this sentence is very true. My husband recently died of cancer. I am an end of life educator. I know what dying looks like, how it progresses, and what to do to support the person […]
“I’m watching someone I love slowly die. She’s bed bound, her body is breaking down, she’s in pain despite medication, but she’s still here, taking small sips, a few bites. I can see that she’s suffering. She said she didn’t want to live like this, so why is she still here? Why is she still […]
Doctor’s office visits for health issues are scary, often confusing, and too often complicated with medical terms we don’t understand. And we are generally ill or have health issues that will interfere with clear thinking. Actually, even if it is a routine health check, what I am going to suggest is applicable. Obviously I can’t […]
What is hospice? Where did it come from? What is its history? The concept of specialized care for the dying originated in England around the 1960’s. Dame Cicely Saunders — an important and influential physician, nurse, social worker, and writer in end of life care — established a specific facility to care for those people […]
