When someone asks “Why did you do that?” it often feels accusatory, triggering a defensive response. This can hinder open communication, whether in sales or personal Relationships.
Greg Birch, a former interrogator, shared insights on using “how” or “what” instead of “why” to foster a more constructive dialogue.
🔄 A Better Approach:

Instead of “Why did you choose that?” try “What led you to this decision?” or “How did you arrive at this conclusion?” This phrasing shows curiosity and places you on the same side of the table.
Shifting from “why” to “what” or “how” encourages sharing and collaboration, reducing the defensive barrier.
💡 Whether you're in sales, parenting, or any form of leadership, remember: the way we ask questions can profoundly influence the responses we get.

Let's strive to foster openness and understanding in every conversation.

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Harry Spaight Founder of Selling With Dignity

Harry Spaight is a leading keynote speaker, author, and sales consultant who has achieved remarkable success in sales. With over 20 years of experience in hypercompetitive sales environments, Harry has sold and led teams to tens of millions in sales. Coupled with his experience as a former missionary, Harry has a unique perspective on how to sell without being pushy.

Harry works with individuals and businesses who want to step up their sales, so they can thrive.
He is the author of “Selling with Dignity” and is the host of the “Sales Made Easy” podcast.