1.   
The
ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your
mouth shut in any language is priceless!

2.   
Be
decisive. Right or wrong, decide. The road is paved with flat squirrels who
couldn’t decide.

3.   
 When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and
keep away from children just like the bottle says.

4.   
Just
once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”

5.   
Becoming
an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

6.   
If you
see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a
meeting.

7.   
Does
anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags or is it just me.

8.   
I hate
it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is
asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.

9.   
Today’s
3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I
ate mud.

10. Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your
wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.

11. So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on
a treadmill?

12. Old age is coming at a really bad time.

13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He
would’ve put them on my knees.

14. Last year I joined a support group for
procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

15. Why do I have to press one for English when
you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

16. I don’t need anger management. I need people
to stop irritating me.

17. My people skills are just fine. It’s my
tolerance for idiots that needs work.

18. “On time” is when I get there.

19. Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure
does muffle the sound.

20. It would be wonderful if we could put
ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free…and three
sizes smaller.

21. “One for the road” means peeing
before you leave the house!

Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/

Royce Shook Blogger

I served as a teacher, a teacher on Call, a Department Head, a District Curriculum, Specialist, a Program Coordinator, and a Provincial Curriculum Coordinator over a forty year career. In addition, I was the Department Head for Curriculum and Instruction, as well as a professor both online and in person at the University of Phoenix (Canada) from 2000-2010.

I also worked with Special Needs students. I gave workshops on curriculum development and staff training before I fully retired